45 Thoughts About 45 Comics – Batman Eternal, Batgirl, Amazing Spider-Man, Detective Comics, Futures End, Justice League Unlimited, Secret Avengers, Deadpool, The Royals, Superman/Wonder Woman, All-New X-Men, Twilight Zone, Pathfinder, Manifest Destiny, Revenge, Starlight, Real Heroes, God Is Dead, Uber, Crossed, Legenderry, That’s Because You’re A Robot, Ash, Blackout, Moriarty Lives, Blood Queen, Rogue Trooper, Dexters Lab, Rocky & Bullwinkle, Sinister Dexter, Star Trek, Transformers, Wraith, Angry Birds, Pestilence, Wasteland, Sixth Gun, Star Wars, Edgar Allen Poe, Abe Sapien, Bloodshot, Tales Of Honor, Armor Hunters, Archer And Armstrong And Wildfire

Another week, another bevy of new comic books to dive face first into…

Layout 1

The Twilight Zone Annual raises that terrible danger, that of social media! It’s a clear and present danger in today’s society and something that must be destroyed/feared/demonised or… something. But is this taking the issue too far? I mean what harm can it really do.
blackout3

See? In Blackout #3 it could, possibly, be a saving grace, carrying your tech around in your pocket. Or, you know, someone else’s tech.

Scan_20140611 (3)

Okay, well, there is that. Dan Slott looks at fan entitlement in Amazing Spider-Man #1.2. I don’t suppose this is how he feels about a reader or two, do you think?

Image

In Detective Comics, Batman seems to moonlighting as Squidman judging by the trail of inky stuff he seems to be trailing behind him. Either that, or he had a dodgy curry last night and is hoping that no one will notice while he squats in mid air. Still, rather disrespectful…

Image

Look folks. In Animal Man and Green Arrow, we may have a new Blue Beetle and Booster Gold. Thanks to Justice League Unlimited for that particular team-up.

Image (3)

We do get this Batman/Pyg face off in Batman Eternal. And to be fair, no one wants their fist caught in his nasal passages, do they? Maybe its’ a thing.

Image (2)

Batgirl may have faced many challenges in her career, but nothing probably prepares you for walking in on your flatmate getting in on while you’ve been out beating up folk. Though the “sock on the doorknob” line is probably rather insensitive considering the circumstances.

Scan_20140611 (6) I’m not really enjoying the downplaying of The Fury these days when in Secret Avengers even Hawkeye can manages to escape the Fury relatively unharmed.

X14

X #14 shows us the power of prayer. But I’m sure it can be used for better, more nobler things. Like erections.

gid

In God Is Dead #14, we discover the power of godly song. No matter how boring and dull the song, it can still have a certain effect…md

And in Manifest Destiny it seems there’s nothing that will put certain folk off.real heroes

Real Heroes does live up to ts name. Seriously, when was the last time something like this happened to Spider-Man? For a start his face mask would just get sodden.

revenge

In Revenge, we get a dog in the fridge. Not a common variation of that trope, admittedly, but a surprisingly effective one. And it’s followed up in Uber with an even more surprising refrigerator moment. uber

That’s right folks, Hitler gets fridged to give a certain someone a little revenge motivation. Naturally violence ensues. But then, this is Uber, doesn’t it always?

Rogue Trooper Classics #2

Rogue Trooper Classics #2 shows us what happens when your clothing protests at your fashion choices.

Layout 1

Mind you, robotic cats in Legenderry don’t get much better treatment. It’s a tough life being an artificial life form.

robot

That’s Because You’re A Robot is less about the robotic nature of our lead as to the reaction of the world around him, hence the title. And whether or not it is possible to have a Jewish robot. Of course it is! Though circumcision may require wire cutters.

starlight

Starlight gives us more than just Flash Gordon, it also takes on Oz and Barsoom as well…

Layout 1

Ash And The Army Of Darkness discovers that just spouting a bunch of action platitudes don’t make much of a difference if the subject jut buggers off.

Layout 1

Pathfinder: City Of Secrets gives us the recognised truth that all ills can be cured with alcohol. Although I’d check what year that Ulseberry ale is, 1654 was a real dud.

Layout 1

Unfortunately, Moriarty’s game was Naked Drunk Twister.

Layout 1

And this scene from Blood Queen was the one that was on the back of the Captain Action Cat comic given away by Dynamite for Free Comic Book Day, for litte kiddies to pester their parents to buy. Still, there was an ingenious solution

DEXTER'S LABORATORY #3

Dexter’s Lab, again showing off Dexter’s ingrained misogyny. Still, there is a cute unicorn, I can understand the annoyance factor just a little.

Rocky & Bullwinkle #4

Over in Rocky & Bullwinkle #4, we get an overly explicit burger order from the pen of Roger Langridge. Is it me or is he really writing Walter The Softy from The Beano?

Sinister Dexter #7

In Britain, guns are basically treated like magic. Well, all we know is from Hollywood, where magazine never run out, guns never jam and silencers make a gun whisper. They are up there with sonic screwdrivers and wizard’s wands as far as our day to day experiences go. So this, in Sinister Dexter, is basically what we all think anyway, well into adulthood. See Spaced for details…

Star Trek #34

See, now this is just the sort of scene from Star Trek #34 is exactly the material that slash fic is made from.

Robots in Disguise #30

“That? That’s not a spear. THIS is a spear” from Transformers: Robots in Disguise #30

Wraith #7

Wraith #7 brings commerce and confectionery like never before … and seems to have The Goon working for them.

Angry Birds #1

Angry Birds #1 breaks down exactly how all the Angry Birds do their… things. I prefered the first version, obviously.

Pestilence #4

“I’ll show you my thoughts, if you sow me your thoughts.” It’s only fair. From Pestilence #4.

Wasteland 55 - 1

“We’re basically trying to recreate the spirit of Adam Ant. Ridicule, you see, is nothing to be scared of.” From Wasteland #55.

Sixth Gun 41 -3 Something tells m that she might have preferred Jemima. From Sixth Gun #41

Starwars18

You know even when kneeling, Dave Prowse would tower over most men. Nothing has really changed here, in Star Wars #18.

EAPMorella

The Edgar Allen Poe Morella Murders: Rue Morgue give us a nice cheery interlude. And sea foam that is more alive than anyone else in this scene, gripping to the rocks….

abe13

Okay, you are on an abandoned moors at night, someone starts ringing a bell, even Abe Sapien should know enough to get the fuck out of there.

BSHC_023_crop

Time for a little self sacrifice in Bloodshot And The Hard CORPS #23.

gid2

As opposed to God Is Dead, where it’s all about sacrificing others for the self!

talesofhonor3_xthoughts

Tales Of Honor #3 makes it a little harder…

brown

And in Crossed Badlands, it’s all about blaming others, courtesy of ex-Prime Minister Gordon Brown

AH_001_crop

Armor Hunters #1 brings us a cosmic atificicial entity with a name you might call your male kitten.

AA_021_crop

And Archer And Armstrong is every conspiracy theorists wet dream, asking what if they were all true?

wildfire1_xthoughts

Wildfire #1 is a big blow to Justin. Seriously, no one show him this comic book. Everybody else, it’s fine though.

Scan_20140611 (4)

Deadpool #30 gets us a Dazzler from the past, All-New X-Men style and an excuse for Deadpool to join her in seventies fashion.

Even though, you know, sliding continuity would probably make Dazzler more of a player of MC Groove Dance Craze…

Scan_20140611 (11)

In New 52: Future’s End, we discover that five years in the future, the secret identity will just no longer work. You know, I bet Google is working on a superhero secret identity revealer right now.

Scan_20140611 (10)

The Royals: Masters Of War give us wine, women and shouting. Far more the ways of the aristocracy, song is for the common folk…

Scan_20140611 (8)

Superman/Wonder Woman gives us a Superman happy to run away. You know, if he’d have thought of this in Man Of Steel, he would have saved an awful lot of Metropolitans.

Scan_20140611 (7)

Actually, All New X-Men Special #1, if you are talking how many Summers brothers are around, technically there are four of them. You get to count Cyclops twice.

But better than that… Death’s Head! Death’s Head! Death’s Head! Death’s Head!

So… what have you been reading then?

Comics courtesy of Orbital Comics, London. Who are launching the graphic novel House Party by Rachael Smith on Friday at 7pm.

rachaelsmith-launch

About Rich Johnston

Chief writer and founder of Bleeding Cool. Father of two. Comic book clairvoyant. Political cartoonist.

twitter   facebook square   globe