WWE’s Kane Cuts Promo After Officially Winning Mayoral Primary

Posted by May 3, 2018 Comment

WWE Superstar Kane is now officially the Republican nominee for the mayoral race in Knox County, Tennessee, the Big Red Machine announced on Twitter Thursday afternoon. Kane seemingly won the race on election night by 17 ballots, but 43 provisional ballots remained to be tallied that could have overturned his victory like a Smackdown General Manager who isn’t gonna let a match end that way right here in Knox County, Tennessee.

Braun Strowman

After the provisional ballots were counted, Kane, a Libertarian endorsed by Senator Rand Paul and Daniel Bryan, was still left standing, his opponents’ political aspirations lay buried alive or burned in a conflagration of hellfire, brimstone, and well-timed pyrotechnics. Following his victory, Kane took to Twitter to cut a promo on Brad Anders and Bob Thomas.

In his victory speech, Kane pivoted from the dark and moody undertones the campaign trail speeches, in which Kane frequently referenced “sick and depraved acts” or claimed to “delight in terror, delight in pain.” Instead, Jacobs praised his opponents for running clean campaigns.

Kane even brought the two men’s families into it.

Kane will go on to face Democratic nominee Linda Haney in the general election in November, which he is expected to win in a squash because it’s Tennessee and he’s a Republican.

(Last Updated May 3, 2018 5:32 pm )

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A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

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