Report: WWE Fans Upset Brock Lesnar is So Good at Wrestling

Posted by March 4, 2018 Comment

Members of the illustrious club of fans known as the WWE UNIVERSE were upset Saturday night after WWE Universal Champion Brock Lesnar defeated his opponent, Knox County mayoral candidate Glenn Jacobs, in just 35 seconds. According to report by Cageside Seats, Chicago fans were furious on Twitter after the match, which saw Lesnar, who has held the championship for nearly a year despite defending it at least once every three months.

Cageside Seats, along with several other sports websites posting copycat articles, delves into a deep conspiracy that Kane lost to Lesnar so quickly on purpose, part of an attempt to paint Brock Lesnar as a spoiled brat who doesn’t care about WWE and is planning to leave for UFC the first chance he gets. This follows rumors that Lesnar no-showed a recent episode of WWE Monday Night Raw at which he was scheduled to appear and that he spent the night of the Elimination Chamber PPV in the same city as the event, Las Vegas, but instead of coming to the arena, hung out and took selfies with UFC head Dana White.

On the other hand, Lesnar’s challenger at WrestleMania, Roman Reigns, is a WWE lifer (since his football career didn’t pan out) who really cares about the fans and will have longer and more frequent matches if he wins the Universal Championship by defeating Lesnar at WrestleMania. WWE hopes, this conspiracy claims, that fans will cheer Reigns against Lesnar, despite consistently booing Reigns for the past three years. These mind games hope to convince fans, who dislike Reigns because they view his push as manufactured by WWE instead of organic, will change their minds about him and turn on Lesnar because WWE manufactured a controversy around Lesnar’s commitment to the business.

The only problem is: that doesn’t make any sense. If fans dislike Reigns because WWE seems so desperate to get them to like him, the entire Lesnar debacle is just going to be viewed as more of the same. In fact, it could be said the entire reason Lesnar has even held the Universal Championship for so long in the first place is so that he can pass the torch to Reigns at the WrestleMania match next month. The whole idea seems half-cocked and illogical and is unlikely to sway fans from booing Reigns’s inevitable win in WrestleMania’s main event.

No, the simplest explanation is almost always the correct one, and pro wrestling storylines make sense when they aren’t too difficult to believe. Lesnar defeated Jacobs in just 35 seconds because Lesnar is just that damn good (and Jacobs’ heart isn’t really in it anymore, if we’re being honest). Lesnar is a collegiate wrestling champion, a former UFC champion, and one of the most dominant champions in WWE history. Jacobs is a libertarian endorsed by Senator Rand Paul. And while fans at a Chicago house show may have been upset at the length of the match, we’re willing to bet that if Lesnar did the same thing and pinned Roman Reigns in 35 seconds at WrestleMania, the crowd will actually be a hell of a lot happier than if Reigns defeats Lesnar in a 30-minute classic.

(Last Updated March 4, 2018 12:27 pm )

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

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