Trump Unveils Fake News Awards, Crashes GOP Website, Will Probably Rig Vote Anyway

At the last possible minute, President Donald Trump has finally revealed the winners of the 2017 Fake News Awards. Trump teased the awards earlier this month, but ended up pushing the reveal back by nine days to coincide with the birthday of mobster Al Capone. However, as the day (today) rolled around, it seemed like Trump might not actually deliver on his promise. Shocking, we know.

However, he tweeted a link to the GOP website at 8PM Eastern time:

Unfortunately, the demand to find out the winners apparently crashed the website, resulting either in the page refusing to load, or loading an error page like this:

Trump followed up by tweeting:

We haven’t been able to access the page, but Vanity Fair reporter Tina Nguyen reveals that it simply leads to a hastily constructed web poll of nominees for users to vote on:

You might be shocked to see Trump’s favorite network, Fox News, included on the list. And if we had even the slightest bit of faith that the poll weren’t a farce, we’d be pretty sure Fox News will win (or a write-in vote for Trump’s own Twitter account). However, we’re certain that Trump and the GOP will never let that happen, even if Putin’s bots fail and Fox receives the most votes.

Which would make this the second election Trump has rigged in as many years.

Update: Fox News, who were apparently able to access the list despite the website being down, report that Nguyen’s tweet is… wait for it… FAKE NEWS! and Trump actually listed winners in a clickbait listicle. Well, Trump didn’t. No one really believes he bothered to write this himself. But some GOP intern did, and here they are:

1) The New York Times’ Paul Krugman claiming markets would ‘never’ recover from a Trump presidency

2) ABC News’ Brian Ross’ bungled report on former national security adviser Michael Flynn

3) CNN falsely reporting the Trump campaign had early access to hacked documents from WikiLeaks

4) TIME report that Trump removed a bust of Martin Luther King, Jr. from the Oval Office

5) The Washington Post’s Dave Weigel tweeting that Trump’s December rally in Pensacola, Florida, wasn’t packed with supporters

6) CNN’s video suggesting Trump overfed fish during a visit with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe

7) CNN’s retracted report claiming Anthony Scaramucci-Russia ties

8) Newsweek report that Polish First Lady Agata Kornhauser-Duda did not shake Trump’s hand

9) CNN report that former FBI Director James Comey would dispute President Trump’s claim he was told he was not under investigation

10) The New York Times report that the Trump administration had hidden a climate-change study

11) In Trump’s words, “‘RUSSIA COLLUSION!’ Russian collusion is perhaps the greatest hoax perpetrated on the American people. THERE IS NO COLLUSION!”

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

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