In a move sure to shock the electorate, Knox County Republican mayoral candidate Glenn Jacobs has changed his position on an important campaign issue: WWE Superstar Braun Strowman.
Previously, Jacobs has gone on the record as being staunchly opposed to Strowman, attempting to murder the Monster Among Men by shoving him into the back of a garbage truck and turning on the compactor at the WWE Tables Ladders and Chairs PPC event. Jacobs has been spending more and more time away from the campaign trail in order to pursue a vendetta against Strowman, causing some constituents to worry that he might not be focuses enough on important local issues like big government and high taxes. Jacobs’s reversal on Strowman follows a recent campaign speech where Jacobs reflected on his “sick and depraved” acts, calling his treatment of Strowman a “symphony of horrors.”
However, in an interview with the Times of India, Jacobs was complimentary of Strowman, saying that Strowman “will be known as one of the great big men ever” when his career is over. Additionally, Jacobs threw his support behind Jinder Mahal, a pro wrestler from Canada who probably supports universal healthcare for all people and other liberal atrocities.
“His is a great story,” Jacobs said of Mahal. “He was in the WWE years ago, then left company. And then really improved both in his wrestling and his body and came back and became a world champion. I think a guy like Jinder Mahal is really what every WWE superstar should strive to become.”
How would Senator Ron Paul, who endorsed the supposedly libertarian Jacobs, feel about this? Well, he probably wouldn’t say anything for fear that Jacobs would rip open a hole in the wrestling ring and drag Paul straight to hell, and the last thing Paul wants is a repeat of that recent incident with his neighbor.
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