Wolverine is the best he is at what he does, and what he does is single-handedly prop up the sales of 70% of Marvel’s product line by appearing in everyone else’s books. Since his “death” in 2014, Marvel has been in a sales slump, but since the furry little runt finally reappeared in Marvel Legacy #1, all of that is about to change.
In a press release titled “Where Is Wolverine? And What Is His Startling Secret?,” Marvel is teasing big things for everyone’s favorite Marvel Mary Sue:
His return to the Marvel Universe was just the beginning, and the Infinity Stone he holds could change everything. Now, the questions begin: Why was he searching for the Infinity Stone? How did he escape his adamantium prison? Where is Wolverine, and what is he hiding?
If you guessed that the answer to the question of “where is Wolverine?” is “in multiple guest appearances in other comics,” then you’re darn tootin’, bub! Wolverine will be appearing in three books that are not his own in January: Captain America #697, Mighty Thor #703, Amazing Spider-Man #794, and, in the understatement of the century, “more to come.”
The answers will begin to unravel in 2018, but fans will be able to catch glimpses of their favorite mutant in special after-credit scenes at the end of key Marvel titles. Appearing in select issues starting this January, some of Marvel’s most acclaimed artists will tease the whereabouts of the adamantium-clawed mutant with tantalizing teaser panels – and it’s all connected!
It’s not a full-fledged return to form for Wolverine, who prior to his death was a prominent member of multiple superhero teams including The Avengers and The X-Men, the center of super-mega-event comics like Age of Ultron and Avengers vs. X-Men, starring in at least one ongoing solo title, and also making 10 to 15 guest appearances per month at minimum — and that was before Marvel started shipping half of their books twice monthly. But like a fighter getting ready for a return to the ring, Wolverine is going to need to pace himself while getting back into shape, so a few guest appearances here and there starting in January sounds like a good idea.
Besides, there are at current count six other Wolverines currently populating the Marvel Universe, one of which is an actual wolverine, that can continue to pick up the slack for Wolverine while he’s tuning up for that Wolverine-centric super-mega-crossover event tying into Avengers: Infinity War.
“Fans have been speculating about Wolverine’s whereabouts since he first reappeared in MARVEL LEGACY #1—and the Marvel Universe is left just as unaware!” said Alonso regime holdover Tom Brevoort, acting like everyone didn’t find the 154 weeks that Wolverine remained dead to be a sweet, sweet relief. “So keep your eyes peeled as Canada’s favorite citizen makes his presence felt in titles all across the Marvel line! It’s all leading to something — but what?”
We’re pretty sure Canada’s favorite citizen is comedian Dave Coulier, and — you may be shocked to learn this — he’s not even actually from Canada. His mother is from Canada and he loves hockey, so everyone just thinks he’s from there — including Canadians. But he was actually born in Michigan and lives in LA. But the point is, if Brevoort will lie about the reason behind Fantastic Four’s cancellation, we’re not surprised he would lie about the favorite citizen preferences of our neighbors to the North.
“Mystery has always been part of Wolverine’s DNA,” added senior editor Mark Paniccia, though he refused to reveal how he obtained knowledge of Wolverine’s DNA and what connections he may or may not have to the Weapon X program. “He’s one of Marvel’s most interesting and popular characters. Fans are going to have a helluva ride finding out where he’s been and how he came back.”
The press release reveals where fans can begin that “helluva” ride, though if we’re being honest, give it a couple of months and he’ll start appearing in your favorite books whether you’re expecting it or not!
Track Wolverine as he jumps around the Marvel Universe, starting with the following titles:
CAPTAIN AMERICA #697
MIGHTY THOR #703
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #794
And more to come!
What is Wolverine’s startling secret, and how will it impact the Marvel Universe? It’s up to you, True Believers, to find out!
That’s right, Marvel has managed to make the trend of “post-credits” scenes a thing in comics now. If Wolverine’s return doesn’t save the comics industry, post-credits scenes definitely will!