In a shameless display of self-promotion and, at the same time, epic cluelessness, Marvel Comics has asked readers of their website to help them win the 2015 People’s Choice Awards by voting for all their movies over and over again. Marvel received thirteen nominations in the awards, and according to their article, they “need your help to take home the gold, so join your fellow members of the Merry Marvel Marching Society and vote!” The only problem is, readers are currently unable to vote in these particular awards because they already happened two years ago.
“You have until December 4 and can vote as much as you like,” the article said, failing to mention that voting for these particular awards ended on December 4 of 2014, and ironically encouraging readers to vote early. “So remember: Vote early and vote often, otherwise you might find the M.M.M.S. knocking on your door!”
It is unclear what the Mighty Marvel Marching Society will do if you answer your door, but whatever it is, we can probably assume it isn’t very nice, and in any case, they probably won’t show up until 2019, at which point you could be long gone. If they do arrive on time, Bleeding Cool recommends showing them a calendar and explaining that you cannot vote in these awards unless Marvel is able to provide you with a time machine, which, as far as we know, they are not able to do. If the M.M.M.S. continues to insist that you vote in two-year-old awards, we recommend calling the police and telling them that you are being threatened by crazy people who believe it is 2014.
Movies Marvel wants readers to vote for include Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy, which were released in 2014 and are most definitely not on this years People’s Choice Awards, which are, for the record, the *2017* People’s Choice Awards.
We’re not sure what Marvel is up to here, and though we’d be perfectly happy to help them stuff ballots to win some awards, we’re afraid it’s simply impossible, given the circumstances, which are the linear nature of time itself and man’s inability to subvert the laws of physics. We’d love to help you out here Marvel, but you’re asking us to do something that is beyond our capabilities. If you like, we can vote for Captain America: Civil War, Robert Downey Jr., and Chris Evans. They’re all nominated in this year’s awards. Would that help?
Check out the 2017 People’s Choice awards here, and consider voting for Marvel there. It sounds like they may be in need of little support right now. You okay, Marvel? We’re here for you if you need to talk.
- X-ual Healing: Glob Herman Catfished in Old Man Logan #40 - June 17, 2018
- X-ual Healing: The New Avengers Finally Find a Wolverine in Adamantium Agenda #2 - June 17, 2018
- X-ual Healing: If You Like Violence and Nonstop Banter, You’ll Love Deadpool Assassin #1 - June 17, 2018
- Hulk Hogan Finally Helping Others Learn from His Mistakes - June 16, 2018
- Improbable Previews: The Spectacular Spencer-Man Debuts in Amazing Spider-Man #1 - June 15, 2018