Amazing Spider-Man #795 Review: The Plot Padding of the Gods

Amazing Spider-Man #795
3.5 / 10 Reviewer
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Summary
Writers: Dan Slott and Christos Gage, Artist: Mike Hawthorne, Inker: Terry Pallot, Color Artist: Marte Gracia, Letters: VC's Joe Caramagna, Cover by: Alex Ross, Variant Cover by: Dale Keown and Jason Keith, Recap Page Design: Idette Winecoor, Editor: Nick Lowe, Assistant Editor: Tom Groneman, Associate Editor: Devin Lewis, Publisher: Marvel Comics, Release Date: Out Now, Price: $3.99

Spider-Man is getting used to his new apartment and his new-old job. Meanwhile, Aunt May calls Bobbi Morse for lunch with her and Peter not knowing that they have broken up. Elsewhere, Loki looks to summon Spider-Man to settle an old debt.

Amazing Spider-Man #795 cover by Alex Ross
Amazing Spider-Man #795 cover by Alex Ross

Yes, I’m back on this one. I’ve expressed my displeasure with the current Amazing Spider-Man before, but this one’s going to be Marvel’s best-seller even if Peter Parker became the head of Hydra. As such, it’s worth talking about.

In other words, let’s kick the tar out of that dead horse.

So, apparently this debt Loki owes to Spider-Man does line up with events in issues past. It’s shame that doesn’t justify Loki being the main focus of this comic.

Amazing Spider-Man #795 is the comic equivalent of dead air. Not even the usually charming Loki can save this comic from itself.

The Loki plot goes nowhere and wraps up a plot point from 300 issues ago. It’s genuinely impressive how quickly it can accomplish absolutely nothing and then actually retcon itself out of existence while referencing the most reviled Amazing Spider-Man moment since the “Clone Saga.”

It tries to give itself a point by fabricating a “heart-warming moment” between Peter, Aunt May, and Bobbi Morse. It weasels out of actually writing that moment, but it tries to make it happen anyway.

I’ve gone on about the abysmal dialogue and humor in this book, so let’s talk about how much of an idiot Spider-Man constantly seems. He almost never seems to be in control of whatever situation he’s in, and even the meaningless conflict involving Loki is caused by the Trickster God banking on Peter being witless and reckless.

Amazing Spider-Man #795 art by Mike Hawthorne, Terry Pallot, and Marte Gracia
Amazing Spider-Man #795 art by Mike Hawthorne, Terry Pallot, and Marte Gracia

At least the art is quite good. Mike Hawthorne manages to make even the more mundane moments some gravitas in their visual presentation. Terry Pallot’s inking solidifies it all quite well, and Marte Gracia’s colorwork is bright and appealing. There are some genuinely good stills of the Web-Head in this book.

Amazing Spider-Man continues to trudge onwards toward its 800th issue, doing whatever it can to fill the space between now and then. This isn’t a recommended read, no matter how good the art is or how much Loki is in the comic. Give this one a pass.

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About Joshua Davison

Josh is a longtime super hero comic fan and an aspiring comic book and fiction writer himself. He also trades in videogames, Star Wars, and Magic: The Gathering, and he is also a budding film buff. He's always been a huge nerd, and he hopes to contribute something of worth to the wider geek culture conversation. He is also happy to announce that he is the new Reviews Editor for Bleeding Cool. Follow on Twitter @joshdavisonbolt.