Report: White Supremacists Have Terrible Taste In Pizza

Posted by November 4, 2017 Comment

White supremacists have declared Papa John’s the official pizza of the alt-right, showing that in addition to holding depraved and deplorable political viewpoints, they also have awful taste in pizza. The news follows Papa John’s CEO John Schnatter‘s comments condemning NFL protests and blaming the league for sluggish sales, as reported by Bleeding Cool earlier this week.

“The NFL has hurt us,” Schnatter said during a conference call, explaining that the NFL’s refusal to stop players protesting the murder and oppression of Black people by police officers led to Papa Johns pulling NFL advertising and thus to falling sales. “We are disappointed the NFL and its leadership did not resolve this.

“Leadership starts at the top,” Schnatter continued, apparently talking about the NFL and not himself. “And this is an example of poor leadership.”

Schnatter’s comments have delighted white supremacists and Nazi sympathizers, according to the Huffington Post, with one Daily Stormer columnist writing:

“This might be the first time ever in modern history that a major institution is going to be completely destroyed explicitly because of public outrage over their anti-White agenda. Papa John: Official pizza of the alt-right?”

While there are many horrible fates that most reasonable people would love to see befall white supremacists, being forced to eat nothing but what Papa John’s mistakenly calls pizza may perhaps be the most sadistic. However, despite having no idea how to make pizza that’s edible, even Papa John’s isn’t stupid enough to want to be associated with neo-Nazis. The company, which claimed not to be aware of their new status until asked about it, issued a statement condemning the groups:

“We condemn racism in all forms and any and all hate groups that support it. We do not want these individuals or groups to buy our pizza.”

There’s no need to show that kind of kindness for your enemies, Papa John’s. We say, let Nazis eat all the Papa John’s pizza they want — no one has ever deserved it more.

(Last Updated November 4, 2017 5:47 pm )

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

View All Posts