If You Eat This Super Hero Pasta, You'll Gain Feminist Virtue Powers.

If You Eat This Super Hero Pasta, You’ll Gain Feminist Virtue Powers.

Posted by April 4, 2017 Comment

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Thanks to the internet, being able to tell the whole world that a can of pasta with a female superhero on it offends the hell out of you is easier than ever!

Despite the fact that you can also buy Batman and Superman themed pasta (pro-tip: they’re right next to Wonder Woman and Supergirl), Stefan still has an issue with DC’s inclusion of their female superheros, and genius marketing to young girls everywhere. If I was a young girl I’d be over the damn moon to eat Supergirl pasta. But inclusion is stupid and DC should knock it the hell off. How dare they celebrate characters that have been in their roster for 50+ years. Goddamn madness.

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But the real question is, how does this children’s pasta taste? Will it give me feminist virtue powers? Will I gain the powers of every hero symbol I eat? Will there be an invisible jet in my driveway when I’m done eating? Because if their isn’t I’m suing the shit out of Chef Boyardee.

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Look at this big, delicious bowl of feminist virtue! I do have a super serious question though: Are the bat and super symbols from Batgirl and Supergirl, or is Chef Boyardee pulling the wool over my eyes and are these really just Batman and Superman symbols!? They’re very ambiguous. I feel dirty.

The pasta is shockingly bland. The tomato sauce tastes like processed crap. But this is aimed at kids (specifically young girls in case you forgot) so, if I was 8 I’d be all about this. Also I am annoyed that I gained no extra superpowers. No feminist powers. No virtuous powers. And there’s no goddamn invisible jet in my driveway. I’m completely let down, but I only paid $1 for this experiment. I don’t understand why I ate this stuff as a kid.

 

About Veronica Webb

Veronica Webb is a self professed comic book nerd, with a strong focus on Archie and Golden Age comics. She also enjoys Disney World more than the average person, and bad movies. Speed Racer is one of her favorite movies. Seriously.

(Last Updated April 4, 2017 8:04 pm )

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