EXXXCLUSIVE: Getting To The Bottom Of Ben Affleck’s Batty Behavior Regarding The Batman

Posted by January 10, 2017 12 Comments

Ben Affleck’s plans to write and direct a standalone Batman film, purportedly titled “The Batman,” have been confusing to follow. Back in December, Affleck started making comments that led to speculation he was considering backing out of the project.

First, Affleck said that he was going to take his time to get the movie right:

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He followed that up shortly thereafter with a similar message:

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And then he said he might not even make the movie at all!

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But suddenly, today, Affleck seemed to have a major change of heart, praising the movie and calling it “ahead of the curve:”

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He even confirmed that he would indeed direct The Batman:

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So what’s going on here? Is Ben Affleck just screwing with us? Is it a bad case of mood swings? Why can’t Ben Affleck seem to make up his mind about whether or not he intends to write, direct, and star in The Batman?!

To find the answer to this question, we travelled via lucid dreaming to Ben Affleck’s sprawling Hollywood estate for a one-on-one interview that we hope can get to the bottom of this once and for all!

Bleeding Cool: Ben! Thanks so much for having us over.

Ben Affleck: I’m always happy to talk to Entertainment Weekly.

Bleeding Cool: Uhh… yeah. That’s totally who we are.

Ben Affleck: I just want to set the story straight on all these Batman rumors. I’m totally on board with the film, I think it’s gonna be great, and I’m with DC for the long haul.

Bleeding Cool: That’s great!

Ben Affleck: Yeah, I’m really excited about it.

Bleeding Cool: So all those interviews over the past month where you seemed hesitant…?

Ben Affleck: Water under the bridge.

Bleeding Cool: That’s so good to hear. Thanks, Ben.

Ben Affleck: Hey, do you guys want something to drink? Coffee? Tea?

Bleeding Cool: A water would be nice.

Ben Affleck: Okay, be right back.

Affleck leaves the room. A few moments later, he comes back in and sits down. He doesn’t have our water, but he’s sporting a black goatee we could swear wasn’t there before.

Ben Affleck: Sorry about that. Where were we?

Bleeding Cool: Your face…

Ben Affleck: What about it?

Bleeding Cool: Nevermind. You were telling us about The Batman.

Ben Affleck: Look, there’s no guarantee I’m going to do that stupid movie.

Bleeding Cool: What?! But you just–

Ben Affleck: I can’t just commit to a film sight unseen. These things take time. Hell, I might not even do it at all. You know how these things go.

Bleeding Cool: So you’re saying you might not do the film? What does this mean for your future under the cowl.

A phone rings outside Affleck’s office.

Ben Affleck: Can you excuse me? I have to take this phone call.

Bleeding Cool: Of course.

Affleck leaves the room. A few moments later, he comes back in, this time cleanly shaven, and carrying a bottle of sparkling spring water and a glass with ice cubes on a tray.

Ben Affleck (sitting down): Here you go, your water.

Bleeding Cool: I’m sorry. Didn’t you just have a goatee a minute ago?

Ben Affleck: What? No. Are you okay?

Bleeding Cool: Are *you* okay?!

Ben Affleck: I’ve never been better! I’m so excited about writing, directing, and starring in The Batman. It’s coming out better than I hoped. It’s almost done, in fact. Ahead of the curve!

Bleeding Cool: The movie is almost done?

Ben Affleck: Yeah, you know, we have to film it, but that’ll be a piece of cake. All the hard parts are in the can. I have absolutely nothing bad to say about the DC Cinematic Universe experience. It’s been wonderful. I may do five or six more Batman movies, if they all go as well as this one.

Bleeding Cool: Seriously?

Ben Affleck: Yeah, why not! Oh, hang on, I just remembered, I left something in the oven. I’ll be right back.

Affleck leaves the room again. A few moments later, he returns, this time with the goatee again.

Ben Affleck: As I was saying, @#$% DC!

Bleeding Cool: We’re just gonna go.

Ben Affleck: Don’t come back! I can’t stand Entertainment Weekly!

 

Well, it looks like we’re no closer to figuring this mystery out, though it feels like there may be some clue we’re overlooking. Oh well. The Batman is tentatively set fora release in Summer of 2018. Ben Affleck is totally on board… at least today.

About Jude Terror

Former siterunner of TheOuthousers.com during its golden age, Jude Terror now brings his humorous take on entertainment journalism EXXXCLUSIVELY to the readers of Bleeding Cool, much to their chagrin.

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