Is Superboy... Um... Starting Early? [Man of Steel #6 SPOILERS]

Is Superboy… Um… Starting Early? [Man of Steel #6 SPOILERS]

Posted by July 4, 2018 Comment

Superboy, Jonathan Samuel Kent, is meant to be 10 years old in the Superman Rebirth comic books.

And he hasn’t had a birthday party since. In today’s Man of Steel #6 by Brian Michael Bendis and Jason Fabok, his grandfather Jor-El makes the point that in Kryptonian society he would be regarded as an adult.

They start them young on Krypton. And Jonathan Kent may indeed be ahead of the game in other aspects.

man of steel #6

He has his heat vision. And is far too moral to use his X-Ray vision for dubious purposes. Someone must have had a talk.

According to research presented at the 125th Annual Convention of the American Psychological Association last year by Alyssa Bischmann, a doctoral student at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln, the average age of male first exposure was to pornography was 13 years, four months. Mostly accidental, with only a third being intentional.

Of course, that related to adults now — the internet has brought that number right down to around 11 years old, which is pretty close to where Jonathan Kent must be right now.

But to have, presumably, printed magazines of a certain type in his drawer, which seems to be a reasonable assumption from this scene, maybe a more unusual step these days.

And, given in the last issue of Man of Steel #5, Bendis clearly referenced the classic essay by Larry Niven for porn magazine Knight, namely Man of Steel, Woman of Kleene, which also included this proviso:

Ejaculation of semen is entirely involuntary in the human male, and in all other forms of terrestrial life. It would be unreasonable to assume otherwise for a kryptonian. But with kryptonian muscles behind it, Kal-El’s semen would emerge with the muzzle velocity of a machine gun bullet. (One can imagine that the Kent home in Smallville was riddled with holes during Superboy’s puberty. And why did Lana Lang never notice that?)

And talking of such Kryptonian sperm:

Metropolis is shaken by tiny sonic booms. Wormholes, charred by meteoric heat, sprout magically in all kinds of things: plate glass, masonry, antique ceramics, electric mixers, wood, household pets, and citizens. Some of the sperm will crack lightspeed. The Metropolis night comes alive with a network of narrow, eerie blue lines of Cherenkov radiation.

You don’t suppose… that could include fires occurring spontaneously all over Metropolis? As has been happening in Man of Steel? Bendis suggests his own dark explanation at the end of this issue, but could the problem be explained by Jonathan Kent? Might Jor-El have to have a solution for his own spaceship no longer being airtight? Maybe he already has one.

Okay, it’s probably Nuclear Man from Superman IV: A Quest For Peace. But still.

(Last Updated July 4, 2018 12:07 pm )

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About Rich Johnston

Chief writer and founder of Bleeding Cool. Father of two. Comic book clairvoyant. Political cartoonist.

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