No, this isn’t about comic books. I’ve talked about this before.
This is about a new London bus tannoy announcement that hit London in the last few days. Over decades we’ve been used to automatic messages pumped at us while we sit on the bus chugging through the bus lanes. Telling us the name of the next stop, letting us know the bus is being diverted, telling us to move up inside the bus to let people on and in one memorable case a few years ago to let us know that the bus was under attack and to call 999 immediately,
But in the last two day,s a new threat is upon us. After every bus stop, the announcement “please hold on, the bus is about to move”. Which happens not before the bus is about to move but usually about 30 seconds after it is underway. You can watch my daughter lipsynch to the message below.
She requested £3 for the performance rights. She is a good negotiator.
Now imagine that message, without such performance, being played at you every few minutes, at a time when the bus is already moving.
Because it’s not just us that have suffered this incessant and poorly timed new addition to London’s daily commute. Plenty of others have noticed. And rather than burn the buses to the ground which we know they really want to do, London has taken to social media. Which, I guess, is a thing we do now.
@TfL this new automated announcement on the bus "please hold on, the bus is about to move" is really annoying after every single bus stop. Are people really that stupid? Also would help if the announcement was made before the bus actually moved off. #TFL
— John Wheeler (@84Wheeler) January 12, 2018
Bus, you've been moving for a solid minute, why have you just played the warning to hold on because you're about to move 😂
— Ed (@edthepunkduck) January 13, 2018
when I close my eyes to sleep at night, all I'm gonna hear is "please hold on, the bus is about to move"
— Izi (@iziieva) January 12, 2018
The bus I was on earlier stated announcing its intention to move at arbitrary intervals, which was particularly confusing when it was already in motion. But I’m sure the bus knows best
— Zara Drei (@zaradrei) January 13, 2018
@TfL Seriously, the “this bus is about to move” announcements are really annoying. Buses move – people not prepared for this shouldn’t be allowed out on their own.
— Rob Morris (@lemonfreshrob) January 13, 2018
Dear @TfL please stop the "please hold on, the bus is about to move" Chinese water torture. It's unbelievably annoying and largely wrong.
— Neil Gardner (@nihil41) January 12, 2018
'Please hold on, the bus is about to move'
1. That's kinda what they do, isn't it?
2. Thanks for the update, I thought I was at the transport museum.
3. Only even slightly useful if the bus isn't ALREADY GOING 15 MILES AN HOUR
— Dean Ashraf (@deanashraf) January 13, 2018
New tannoy messages on buses: 'Please hold on – this bus is about to move.'
Doesn't say what to hold on to, though.
— Tits McGee (@Scientits) January 12, 2018
— Steph (@StephanieKeen_) January 13, 2018
There is of course suspicion that this is all down to a lawsuit somewhere.
I want to know who fell down on the bus and sued TFL why every bus now says "please hold on this bus is about to move" and mainly how much they got.
— SA (@__SAGM) January 13, 2018
“Please hold on, the bus is about to move” seems to be a new 2018 thing on busses (lawsuit/ fine inspired?). Might need some altering as it seems timed so London bus drivers are already halfway down the street before it says “hold” :) @TfL
— Nick Gazard (@ngazard) January 13, 2018
But, according to an attempt at an explanation, apparently it’s a trial.
Safety is our number one priority. The PA announcement is a trial to improve customer safety on the bus network. Thank you for your comments.
— TfL Bus Alerts (@TfLBusAlerts) January 13, 2018
And apparently, that’s all the explanation we need. Why the message is timed to run at a time it is simply it true, is yet to be explained.
But here’s a suggestion. Why not change it to “The wheels on the bus go round and round?” It would at least match when it is being played…