Danielle Mick writes for Bleeding Cool from Drag Con NYC 2017.
Before you read this article, I urge you to open a new tab and head over to YouTube. Go on. I’ll wait. You there? Good. Type in UNHhhh (capitalization required). [Rich adds: let me help you with that]. A playlist of 67 videos will show up under the channel WOWPresents. Sit there and cry from laughter as two queens, Trixie Mattel (season 7) and Katya Zamolodchikova (season 7 & All Stars season 2) of RuPaul’s Drag Race fame delve into topics far beyond the artistry of drag.
Although Katya couldn’t be there today due to a booking in Europe, the show did not suffer a loss of comedic value thanks to season 8’s winner Bob the Drag Queen, who was absolutely ready to drag and read and offer her own impersonations of the missing queen. (Which were on point, might I add.)
Trixie, donned in a flower crown and expected pink dress, was the first person to enter the stage, only to be applauded for a solid three minutes before she was able to make a comment. Bob fared the same treatment during her arrival, wasting no time making a joke about Katya upon seeing the space between the panelists: “This is like the emotional distance between Katya and everything else in the world.” There were so many affectionate insults thrown at Katya revolving around her former drug addiction (“she’s a METHod actress, get it?”) and mental illness (“she’s like a psychopath, but the funniest person I know”).
Even though the two don’t work together often, their friendship prevented any awkwardness from shining through. They took turns commenting on each other’s outfits. Trixie joked about the lack of Bob’s wig, who quickly pointed out that Trixie wasn’t even wearing heels. Neither were wearing nails, which is an absolutely requirement for All Stars season 2 winner, Alaska Thunderfuck, who infamously stated, “If you’re not wearing nails, you’re not doing drag.”
The pair of queens were given a list of questions and subjects to discuss and every time they turned their attention back to the paper, they commented on the fact that they were not supposed to touch the microphones. Apparently it was written on the sheet a LOT. They got the job done, however, with only a few hilarious anecdotes such as Bob’s experience with coming home on the subway in full drag while people are going to work. (“Honey, we work a different kind of 9 to 5, okay, honey?”) They discussed Shelley Duvall’s interview on Dr. Phil in detail, quoting it as the “messiest display of human exploitation of mental illness since UNhhh.” They shared their most awkward sexual encounters with women– Bob had a girlfriend in high school though Trixie is a Gold Star gay, meaning that she has never even kissed a woman.
The focus of the panel, however, was to promote The Trixie & Katya Show, which will be premiering on Viceland on November 15, 2017. It’s basically an expanded version of UNHhhh, though the dynamic duo will be doing things both in and out of drag, and have a boat load of guests and subject-based professionals to help them through their adventures. I was pleased to hear that their beloved editors, Chris and Ron, would be doing their Viceland show as well! Trixie described the new program as a “stream of consciousness with more money, more cameras, more lights, and the same enthusiasm.” They teased us with samples of the show’s content in a fast-paced game called Know Your Show, where Bob would describe a bit and Trixie would have to figure out which episode it happened in. (Example: “You looked at zoomed in pictures of nipples and had to guess which celebrity it belonged to.” cue thirty seconds of laughter “Tip that Nip.”)
During the middle of the show, we received a hilariously edited video of Katya attempting to promote the show. Her head was floating in different situations and offered us keystone Katya dark comedy. “I am not prone to hyperbole, I am a woman of truth, but if you miss it, you’ll drown in a pool. Because I will push you in. And hold you there.”
There were a few cringey moments where they discussed a bit for the Trixie & Katya Show where they looked at pictures of grown up childhood stars– which Trixie described as a “chilf”. Bob moved across the room, unable to approve of the game, though she was all laughter as Trixie scrambled to clarify what it meant. (“You didn’t recover well at all.” “Neither did Katya.”) I was surprised to find out that both Trixie and Bob are very interested in young Jeffrey Dahmer.
The best part of the panel came near its conclusion when a fan asked Trixie to confirm the rumors about her participation in the upcoming season of All Stars (season 3). She sighed, knowing that this question would come sooner or later, before stating that “it’s true. I am in the cast of MALLstars.” She went on to make jokes about the prize being a large gift certificate to the mall and what have you, but I’ll take the information as it came.
Trixie Mattel is going to be on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 3 and she better werk and win, honey.
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