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Retro Con 2014: Bleeding Cool Brings You Donuts & Interviews With Multiple Time Traveling Devices

By Jared Cornelius

RETROCON
I'm the kind of guy who's not crazy about crowds, I'm not afraid of being trampled or have some irrational fear, but whenever I'm somewhere like Wizard World Philly I can't help but feel congested.  I enjoy conventions, I enjoy meeting like-minded people, but it always seems like such a hassle fighting crowds and waiting in hours long lines for things.  So I was incredibly interested when I found out about Retro Con at the Greater Philadelphia Expo Center in Oak Pennsylvania.  The con looked like it had the charm of a bigger convention, but wasn't one of those "cons" squeezed into the Ramada Inn's ball room.  So it was off to the Philly suburbs I'd go, but before leaving I've developed a bit of a con tradition.  Everyone likes donuts, so in a show of friendship and thanks to both creators and fans I give out delicious donuts to con goers.  It's part genuine thanks to the community and also gives me an excuse to write a feature on it.

My first stop was to a local donut shop here on the Jersey coast, it's a terrific little locally owned place that makes its donuts to order, so every batch is fresh and decadent.  After the 45 minutes wait for 40 some odd hot donuts I made my way to Pennsylvania.

DONUTS

By 9:30 I've arrived in Oak, I know I'm in the right place as a couple cosplayers are heading toward the entrance as well.  I grab my pass and make an initial pass around the room to give myself the lay of the land.  Walking around the room I'm actually impressed how many people are at the con already, it's only been open for a half hour and the place is buzzing with fans.  The vendors seem like they've got a bit of everything, toys seemed to be the hot property, but I was ecstatic to see 7 or 8 well stocked retro game vendors.  After surveying the room I decide it's time to go to work.

I've been a diehard Mystery Science Theater fan for more than half my life, so meeting its creator Joel Hodgson was number one on the agenda.  I position myself in line and patiently wait with my clutch of donuts, but it gives me a chance to observe more of the room.  The back wall of the con is the celebrity area with voice actors, Larry Kenny and Peter Newman from the Thundercats, Sergeant Slaughter  from WWE/F. They all have a few people in line to meet them, but Hodgson's the only one with a dedicated line 10 to 15 deep the whole time.  After about a half hour I make my way up to Hodgson, I introduce myself as a Bleeding Cool writer.  Hodgson asks if I know what Mystery Science Theater is jokingly, I go along with it and proclaim my ignorance.  We talk for a minute about a potential MST3K Kickstarter.  I exchange some information for an interview somewhere down the line and thank Hodgson with a box of fresh donuts.

JOEL

I see he's a little taken back, I know he appreciates that thought, but eating this entire box of donuts would put anyone into a diabetic coma, he asks me if it's alright to give them out.  I tell him that was my intention and leave with a smile and an autograph on my DVD copy of Pod People.  As a side note I usually have a lovely assistant to help me with these things, but attended the con solo so the pictures with Hodgson were taken by con volunteer Mike Townsend, (Thanks Mike! You're the best!)

JOEL1 JOEL2

I offer donuts to some of the other MISTIES in line, but I can see people are a little hesitant at first, but I wouldn't wait too long to give away my goodies.  I'm approached by an elderly woman who asks what I'm selling, I reply with my usual shtick about being a writer and it's for a feature but the donuts are free as long as I can take a picture.  She's not keen on being photographed, and proceeds to volunteer her granddaughter who has a face painting booth.

VENDOR1

I start making my way around the room and offer Sergeant Slaughter a donut, he politely declines, but I'm fortunate because a fan cosplaying as him is interested.  I open my box of sugared goodness and blow his mind when I reveal the majority of the box are maple bacon donuts.  The fake Sarge reaches in with gusto and enjoys his breakfast.  Interestingly enough perennial G.I. Joe foe Zack "Zartan" Hoffman from the classic series has shop set up next to Slaughter.  Hoffman was immediately interested in a donut, we make small talk for a few minutes and chatted about the merits of sweet vs. savory.

ZACK

While we're chatting Morgan "Baroness" Lofting asks Hoffman if he can break a $5, a Joe fan awkwardly reminds Lofting that Zartan and Baroness didn't get along on the show, Hoffman responds, "Only because she wouldn't date Zartan!" The fans in line have a laugh and I'm again on my way.  I move down to Thundercats voice actress, Gerrianne "Pumyra" Raphael.  She goes in for a french toast donut, I neglected to grab napkins so she takes a piece of paper out of my notebook, it's not ideal but it works!

RAPHAEL

While I'm walking around I get in a conversation with a couple of guys from Bestow Productions doing press interviews.  They both ask about what I'm doing, I tell them it's easier if I just show them.

LOVE

If you ever wanted to see what love looks like, that picture personifies it.  He delightedly grabs a maple bacon donut and experiences a Zen-like state.

ZEN

We exchange cards and I'm on my way to feed more hungry fans.  It's about this time I start talking with the cosplay community, conveniently Matt Smith and David Tennant Doctors are posing with fans.  I offer the Doctors a treat, but only the Matt Smith Doctor accepts, David Tennant Doctor declines citing a lactose issue.  The Doctors and I start chatting so I decided to record the conversation.

DOCTORDONUT

Jared Cornelius: Doctors how long have you been coming to Retro Con?

DT Doctor: I have been coming to Retro Con for about three years now, but not really until 200 years from now. It'll be my third time.

JC: Is that in Time Lord time?

DT Doctor: Sort of, you travel through time and space and you can't really tell time anymore because it doesn't exist, it's three, I think it's three, it's three right?

MS Doctor: It depends on the time zone.  This is 2015 no 14, this is the third time in their time stream.

DT Doctor: Ok, Ok, yeah, their time stream, sure, yeah.

JC: I take it you're bad with appointments?

DT Doctor: Oh god, if it wasn't for disappointment I wouldn't have any appointments

[*Editor's Note, HMS sneaking in here: Is that a They Might Be Giants reference? I think so…]

MS Doctor: What he said.

DOCTORS1
While I'm talking to the Doctors a couple cosplayer come up to see what's going on.  A Hannah Solo, Lucy Skywalker, and Carmen SanDiageo are asking the Doctor's what they're doing, by now I've got my speech down to a science, "Hi I'm Jared Cornelius, I'm a writer for Bleeding Cool.com and I do a feature where I give out fresh donuts at cons.  They're free, all I ask is a picture for the feature."  Lucy Skywalker declines, but Hannah Solo jumps right in and takes a french toast donut.

HANNAHSOLO1

It look a bit of convincing, but with a ringing endorsement on the awesomeness of my donuts from Hannah I was able to sell Carmen SanDiego on a cookies and crème donut.

CARMEN

One thing I really appreciated about the con was the incredible cosplay presence.  The con wasn't awash with a sea of Batmen or Deadpools, but gender bending Star Wars  characters, G.I. Joes, Transformers, and more.  I end up making my way down the row of cosplay group tables.  I end up talking with a group from several different cosplay clubs including Roadblock from a G.I.Joe group called, The Finest, a Wonder Woman from the Heroes Alliance, and a Visitor from the Connecticut Mothership.  All three are a little surprised at my offer, but dig in with maple bacon again the star of the show.

COSPLAY2

I move on to the Philadelphia Ghostbusters, I'd seen the chapter at Wizard World Philly a few years ago, but hadn't run into any members for some time.  The three ladies manning the table are all very friendly, I'd offered them donuts earlier in the day, they politely declined but I end up asking about the organization.

GHOSTBUSTERS

Jared Cornelius: Where did you find Surge!

Tara: Coca Cola re-released it about two weeks ago, and if you were lucky enough to get on Amazon and order some you could get it I ordered six cases for this event.

JC: Ok, I thought you might have gotten in the TARDIS.

Tara: Yeah a lot of people have said that, or the Delorean.

JC: Yeah there are multiple time traveling devices here.

JC: Other than busting ghosts, what are the Philadelphia Ghostbusters all about?

Tara: We're a charity fan group, we go around to parades, conventions, hospitals and raise money for different types of charities.

JC: What's your ratio of ghostbusting to charity?

Tara: I don't know. What do you guys say?

JC: Like sixty, forty?

Tara: Sure.

JC: What drew you to the Philadelphia Ghostbusters?

Tara: We're from all over.  I guess a couple guys started the group and started accepting applications online.  Most of us met from other conventions and joined or I actually applied online and I became friends with all of them after that.

JC: Is the application process strenuous?

Tara: Not too bad.

JC: How many pushups do I have to do?

Tara: At least 10.

JC: What kind of mile do I have to run?

Tara: We're not runners.

JCGhostbusters 1 or 2?

Tara: One.

JCThe Real Ghostbusters with the gorilla or The Real Ghostbusters with the voice of Garfield Lorenzo Music?

Tara: I don't know I don't really watch The Real Ghostbusters.

*Fellow Philadelphia Ghostbusters are visibly shocked*

JC: Oh wow you just got some dour glares!  Somebody's getting  YouTube clips and a season one box set sent to them!

JC: How about you, what drew you to the Philadelphia Ghostbusters other than crippling shyness?

Dana: I like to participate in charity groups and fundraising for better causes, we've raised money for Autism Speaks three years in a row, Multiple Sclerosis, done a couple charity events for children's hospitals.  We do stockings for kids every year which is our charity right now that we're fundraising for and it's more fun to dress up as a character and make conversation when fans donate for a good cause.

JC: I don't have any witty repartee for that answer. That was really genuine.

JC: Do you have any Gozer paintings? Gozer art? Fan art? Fan Fiction? Slash Fiction?

Dana: No but my name is Dana.  There is no Dana only Zuul!

JC: That was the correct answer.

The con's filled with people like the Philadelphia Ghostbusters, with my curiosity whet speaking to them I move down the line and end up talking with a Scarlett and Jinx from the G.I. Joe cosplay group The Finest.

FINEST

*Photo stolen from Facebook, mine didn't look great.*

Jared Cornelius: What do The Finest do?

Scarlett J: We're a G.I.Joe and Cobra costuming club, we appear at conventions, we fundraise for charity, sometimes we do Free Comic Book Day events, but we basically appear at cons in costume.  We were recently in the Dragon* Con parade down in Atlanta, we had a big representation down there, it was real exciting.

JC: So you guys are all about G.I.Joe, I know the Jinx costume, but I'm not sure which Joe you're supposed to be?

Scarlett J: It's a little more obscure, it's Ninja Force Scarlet from the 90's run.  That figure had karate kick action and comb-able hair.  I actually try and do every single version of Scarlett and this is a new one I put together.

JC: I've got a couple of quick questions, G.I.Joe or G.I.Joe Extreme?

Scarlett J: There is no G.I.Joe Extreme!

JC: Destro or Cobra Commander?

Scarlett J: Destro.  Cobra Commander's just a figurehead.

JC: Baroness or Zarana?

Scarlett J: Oh that's a tough one, Baroness has the clothes, but Zarana has the attitude.

JC: Tiger Force or Eco Warriors?

Scarlett J: Tiger Force!

JC: Would you run through the charities you support?

Scarlett J: We recently did a fundraiser for a calendar we made called, "Girls of The Finest" that I was personally involved in, we raised 10,000 dollars for the Wounded Warrior Project, which is a charity we're really close to.

As I proceed, my box of donuts has become ever smaller, a lovely Star Trek cosplayer takes a Boston crème off my hands as I make my way to a curious group of V cosplayers.

V2

I've got two donuts left before I approached the table and after talking with a couple of Connecticut Mothership members I'm all the sudden down to none.

V1

I start talking with husband and wife commanders Charles and Adine, who no surprise are incredibly passionate about V.

Charles: We started doing this for ourselves originally, just a bunch of fans in Connecticut getting together and we put it out there on Facebook and it just took off.

Adine: And all of our uniforms and props are made by us and are based on screen used items we have, so we've made them as accurate as they could possibly be with the materials that are available to the world.

Charles: It's for ourselves, we're not a store, we're not professional prop makers, and we're just fans having fun.

Adine: People were asking us to make their own and we were just like "Ok".

Charles: We just met Philip, he's the commander here in Pennsylvania and we're making new friends and having a great time!

Adine: People are asking to make them a Mothership in their state and we're like, "Sure!"

JC: I have your card but what's the official name of your group?

AdineThe CTV Connecticut Mothership.

Charles: It's part of the larger Visitor fleet which is our overreaching organization because we got too big.

Adine: We're actually internationa.l

JC: Is there a 1-5 in that CTV somewhere.

*Awkward silence*

JC: Sorry my David Bowie joke failed.

JC: When you get down to it V in pretty niche as far as sci-fi goes, not that V's a bad show, but why V?

Charles: For that very reason.

Adine: Because people aren't doing it.

Charles: It deserves the love.  People should go back and watch it.  I mean you have the Galactica fandoms and these other shows that if you watch now they're just as cheesy.  V has its moments but it has its moments and it deserves the love.

Adine: It nice to do something that you don't see all the time.

Charles: We have no interest in doing something that's been done a hundred times.  We want to do what we want to do and we're doing it better than anyone who's ever done it.

DELOREAN

With my interviews wrapped up, I decide it's time to go have the vendors take my money.

HALL

There's a guy selling the high end Masterpiece and third party Transformers, I take a good long look at a few of his wares but I talk myself out of it as I have too many toys already.  I dig through a couple of fifty cent comic bins but don't find anything I've been dying to read.  It's the retro game vendors that really catch my eye.  I sort through bin after bin of NES and SNES carts but don't find anything that knocks my socks off.  One of the vendors has a boxed copy of Earthbound for $500, that's a big nope.

I make a couple of passes by a table selling ROM hacked games, it's an interesting curiosity but he wants too much for his DS compatible copies of Mother.  I see another vendor with a bunch of tubs full of games, but I'm immediately put off when a grown man sneezes on them with no regard for covering his mouth.  (PSA Time: Please don't be a gross jerk, we're all excited to be there, but don't forget your manners)  He sneezes again without covering his mouth as I walk away, I'm tempted to chastise him but I think better of it and walk away with a craving for hand sanitizer.  I end up walking by a table with a boxed copy of Super Metroid in a glass case.  I look at it for a minute inspecting its condition, while I'm checking it out I overhear a couple of con-goers talking about it.  The one fan say's he'll buy it if it's here tomorrow, sadly for him, it won't be.

SWAG1

With my boxed copy of Super Metroid and a signed DVD set, I bid a fond farewell to Retro Con.  While it lacks the creators and artists of the bigger shows, it more than makes up in personality and accessibility.  I'm fondly looking forward to Retro Con 2015 and I hope you'll join me next time.

Jared Cornelius is some guy from New Jersey's coast who has too much stuff in general.  If you'd like to organize a yard sale or an Ebay blitz contact him on Twitter @John_Laryngitis


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Hannah Means ShannonAbout Hannah Means Shannon

Editor-in-Chief at Bleeding Cool. Independent comics scholar and former English Professor. Writing books on magic in the works of Alan Moore and the early works of Neil Gaiman.
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