Watch If You Dare - Embarrassing Trailer For Hellraiser: Revelations

This trailer has actually been online for a few days, pretty much under the broader radar, but after seeing it I needed to share it as a form of catharsis.

For those of you who’ve not heard of it already, Hellraiser: Revelations is supposedly the next installment in the Hellraiser franchise. It was made for about $300,000 and is the first in the series not to star Doug Bradley as Pinhead.

From the looks of it, this is probably going to be the Hellraiser equivalent of Howling II: Stirba Werewolf Bitch or, dare I say it, Highlander II: The Quickening. But at least Highlander II starred Christopher Lambert and and Sean Connery – who the hell are these clowns?

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Revelations is the ninth installment in the Hellraiser franchise, following a series of direct-to-video sequels that haven’t really been good since Scott Derrickson’s Hellraiser: Inferno. The absence of Doug Bradley, not to mention the far-south-of-a-million budget, speaks volumes and both are extremely noticeable in this trailer. Also of note is this snippet from an interview I did with Doug Bradley last month.

Me: You’ve been in most of the Hellraiser movies so far…

Doug Bradley: I’ve been in all of them, yeah.

He made no mention of Hellraiser: Revelations, which suggests that either he didn’t even know about it or that he doesn’t consider it to be a legitimate sequel.*

Hellraiser: Revelations was directed by Vincent Garcia and written by Gary J. Tunnicliffe, who did the make-up effects for previous Hellraiser movies. That’s probably why the make-up is the only thing about this trailer that actually looks good. The film stars no one you’ve ever heard of and can be bought on Amazon, since I’m guessing you’ll struggle to find it in all but the largest of DVD retailers.

*Brendon’s note: Oh, he knew about it all right.

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