Danny Dyer To Play The Next Doctor Who? – Look! It Moves! by Adi Tantimedh

Adi Tantimedh writes;

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Following the announcement on Saturday that Matt Smith would be stepping down from the role of The Doctor in DOCTOR WHO, the BBC have followed up with the announcement that his replacement would be none other than Danny Dyer.

At midnight on Sunday, a surprise news conference was held in The Groucho Club in the heart of London’s Soho, journalists were invited to partake in glasses of champagne and a small mound of cocaine before a BBC spokesman introduced Danny Dyer, flanked by showrunner Steven Moffat and producer Brian Minchin.

“We wanted to end the months of agonising speculation that the wait for a new Doctor has always caused and put everyone out of their misery right now.” Said Moffat.

“The Doctor’s a diamond geezer, yeah?” said Dyer. “That’s how I’m going to play him. Daleks, Cybermen, Millwall supporters, any of ‘em try to give him shit, he’ll just cut the bitch. He’s well hard, he is.”

Dyer, an actor in television and films such as THE FOOTBALL FACTORY, SEVERANCE, DOGHOUSE and RUN FOR YOUR WIFE, was selected after a careful but discreet search that began once Matt Smith told the producers he felt it was time to leave.

“We took the search for the next Doctor very seriously,” said Moffat.

“We considered Craig Charles, but no one knew where to find him,” said Minchin.

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“Doctor Who is a show about change,” said Minchin. “And we decided the time was ripe to embrace a new direction for the show. Danny is the perfect embodiment of that change.”

“There has always been a section of WHO fandom that was disappointed when the show returned in 2005 that it wasn’t a more adult, darker and grittier reboot, the platonic, perfect version that exists in their minds,” added Moffat. “This is us saying we have been listening. We have always listened to the fans. This is us giving them what they want at last. We feel that after seven series, the time was ripe for the next evolution of the Doctor.”

“Yeah,” said Dyer. “My Doctor’s a full-on geezer, yeah? He’s the man. He’s been around a bit, right? He’s over 900 years old, which is, like, fucking ancient, right? A bloke who’s been around that long, he’s gonna have shagged a lot of birds, done a lot of drugs, lived it up, yeah? He’s doctorin’ the Tardis, innit? That’s what he’s all about. And I reckon since my agony uncle column for ZOO magazine was axed, I needed a new forum to teach the lads out there how to be proper blokes. And what better role model can you think of than Doctor Who?”

Dyer will be playing The Doctor in the Eighth Series of DOCTOR WHO alongside returning companion Jenna-Louise Coleman. Production is expected to begin in early 2014.

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