X-ual Healing - The Weekly X-Men Recap Column Archives

In Hellions #6, Mister Sinister's wet dreams come true as Krakoa suffers in the X of Swords crossover. We recap the shocking events!

Marvel continues to troll its own readers in X-Force #14 as X of Swords approaches its conclusion. We recap the shocking events!

In Juggernaut #3, we learn how Juggie got his new armor while he defends himself in court for the events of a 1982 Spider-Man comic.

For future reference, if you ever find yourself in a battle with Wolverine where you need to cut off an appendage, go for one of his dicks.

In Excalibur #14, Marvel held a surprise X-Men wedding, with no fanfare and without a $10 wedding special. Did they forget how to comic?!

In Marauders #15, Wolverine's actions may result in the deaths of his friends... but it's probably still Cyclops' fault, right Marvel?

Deadpool assembles a small army of child soldiers in this latest issue of a comic probably due for a relaunch soon.

In Wolverine: Black, White & Blood, the titular Wolvie somehow managed to avoid his natural child-killing tendencies.

Marauders #14 may have dragged out the X of Swords crossover another issue with no action, but at least Magik and Gorgon made it enjoyable.

All of the problems in X of Swords could apparently have been solved if Apocalypse took a Krakoan blue chew, according to X-Men #14.

In X of Swords: Stasis #1, urine trouble, Hickman, X of Swords goes full Star Wars prequels, and we witness the stunning power of a montage!

In this issue of Juggernaut, Juggernaut is gonna need a lawyer. What's She-Hulk up to lately? X-ual Healing recaps Juggernaut #2!

In this issue of X-Men, we learn that Apocalypse's whole "strongest survive" gimmick is pure overcompensation. X-ual Healing recaps X-Men #13!

In this issue of Excalibur, Saturnyne wants Brian Braddock's sword, but he's obsessed with an amulet. X-ual Healing recaps Excalibur #13!

In Cable #5, the titular Nathan Summers explores a space station with his parents in a creepy mashup of Alien and Leave it to Beaver.

In New Mutants #13, all signs are pointing to Cypher's participation in the X of Swords tournament being a really bad idea.

In Hellions #5, Mister Sinister leads the Hellions on a wacky adventure filled with witty banter and self-referential humor.

In Deadpool #7, Deadpool embarks on a mission to save Elsa Bloodstone's life, but she has other ideas. Plus: Deadpool hates decompression.

In Marauders #13, Storm causes an international incident that could have been entirely avoided by a single phone call.

With the introduction of Solem, Wolverine has finally come across a nemesis as big of a Mary Sue as he is. We recap X-Force #13!

Wolverine #7 provides half a chapter of X of Swords that continues in X-Force, but at least Logan makes up for it with what's in his pants.

Marvel held a virtual live-streamed X of Swords panel at New York Comic Con, but revealed absolutely nothing new of substance during it.

Just four issues in, X-Factor completely abandoned its story for a $5 crossover issue, but at least Apocalypse got what was coming to him.

Alongside the start of a 22-part epic crossover, Marvel also launched a back-to-basics character-focused Juggernaut series last week with Juggernaut #1.

X of Swords: Creation #1 kicks off the X of Swords crossover event, revealing it's basically the same format as WWE Survivor Series.

Before he was getting railed by a two-dicked Wolverine, Cyclops was just a boy in an orphanage and Marvel's Snapshots: X-Men revisits that.

In Hellions #4, the X-Men's quiet council apparently decided that Madelyne Pryor isn't a real person and doesn't deserve resurrection.

X-Men #12 lays out the history of Arakko ahead of the beginning of X of Swords in an issue that's really just a massive data dump.

What would it take to convince formerly heroic X-Men to murder in the name of Apocalypse in Excalibur #12? That's what we hope to find out.

In X-Force #12, The Beast finally takes his dickishness too far, even for Wolverine, who as we all know has *double* the tolerance for that.