Satire


Ultimate Warren, Sanders Win Debate, But Can They Save the Universe? [Spoiler Review]

Ultimate Warren, Sanders Win Debate, But Can They Save the Universe?

The first night of the second democratic debates delivered an action-packed, thrilling viewing experience as Senators Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders teamed up to fend off challenges from party moderates including Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper, Montana Governor Steve Bullock, former Congressman John Delaney, and Senator Amy Klobuchar. However, one of the night’s most memorable twists […]

CM Punk Will Appear at Starrcast, All But Confirming AEW All Out Involvement

CM Punk will officially appear at Starrcast 3, the wrestling convention happening in Chicago on August 31, the weekend of All Out. Starrcast advertised Punk’s appearance in a video posted to their Twitter page Thursday, for which they even apparently obtained the rights to us Living Colour’s Cult of Personality. Get To STARRCAST 8/31https://t.co/VShyAsTu00 pic.twitter.com/a02NJdqWNV […]

Five McDonalds Menu Items The Comics Media Doesn't Want You to Know About

Five McDonalds Menu Items The Comics Media Doesn’t Want You to Know About

Earlier today, ComicBook.com ran an article about how to get a discount on McDonalds fries for National French Fry Day today. But why did ComicBook.com limit their reporting to french fries? Are they in the pocket of the french fry industrial-complex? The obvious answer is: yes. If you need proof, just look at the defensive […]

LA Times Laments Marvel Closing Their Vertigo Imprint on 26th-Anniversary

LA Times Laments Marvel Closing Their Vertigo Imprint on 26th-Anniversary

Though Bleeding Cool first broke the story weeks ago, DC Comics made it official yesterday: Vertigo is dead, long live Black Label. But could there be more to the story? According to a report from respectable newspaper The Los Angeles Times, the decision may have been completely out of DC’s hands. The Times reports that […]

Now Marvel Teases Spider-Man Z

Now Marvel Teases Spider-Man Z

Two days ago, Marvel set the comic book world alight with speculation by posting a teaser image featuring the number 4 made out of spider webs, prompting speculation that the House of Ideas was either teasing a Spider-Man/Fanastic Four crossover or a comic book adaptation of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 4 script. #MarvelComics pic.twitter.com/tqeAGUaEVl — Marvel […]

Marvel Shocker: Joe Quesada Admits Donny Cates is His Secret Love Child

Marvel Shocker: Joe Quesada Admits Donny Cates is His Secret Love Child

In the biggest Marvel scandal since the time we learned Akira Yoshida wasn’t a real person, or maybe even the time we learned Bill Jemas wasn’t a real person, Marvel executive Joe Quesada has taken to Twitter to admit that he is the father of global entertainment superstar Donny Cates. It all began when Cates […]


100-Foot-Tall Al Ewing Rampages Through Downtown London After Marvel Teasers

100-Foot-Tall Al Ewing Rampages Through Downtown London

London – British comic book writer Al Ewing transformed into legendary British science fiction monster Gorgo and promptly began destroying the city Friday following news that Ewing would write 12 stories in Marvel’s upcoming Marvel Comics #1000 anthology. Authorities assured worried Londoners that everything was under control even as BBC News footage showed Ewing swatting […]

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Marvel Shuts Down Claim That Marvel #1000 Teasers Not Diverse Enough

When Marvel Comics began teasing creative teams for what Bleeding Cool has told you is a Marvel #1000 anthology, C.B. Cebulski’s master plan to sell a million comics in August, there was a very glaring problem that was difficult to ignore. Marvel is a publisher that claims to reflect “the world outside your window,” but […]

What Happens when Fans Destroy The Thing They Love

What Happens When Fans Destroy The Thing They Love

The year is 2036 and the world economy is in ruins, and I want to tell you what I’ve learned about the fallout from the fan wars. Today families are divided, friendships shatter on a daily basis, and the entertainment industry produces nothing substantial. Owners of Intellectual Property refuse to produce films or television shows, […]

21 Reasons DC Should Hire Bleeding Cool to Be the New Managing Editor of Comics

DC Comics is looking to hire a new Managing Editor to be in charge of its entire comic book publishing division, Newsarama first reported Tuesday. Responsibilities of the new position, which is not replacing a current one, include managing “editorial schedules for all DC imprints, (DC Comics, Vertigo, DC Black Label, DC Ink, DC Zoom […]

How to Turn a Comic Book Hobby Into a Multi-Million Dollar Enterprise

Everyone loves collecting comic books for the social prestige and scintillating Twitter conversation. But what if you could also get filthy stinking rich off these things?! On Wednesday, Inc.com published an article which was subsequently promoted by Publishers Weekly purporting to contain the secrets behind doing just that, but as it turns out, sometimes if […]

News From the Future: Planet Honors Bat Overlords on Anniversary of Batman Day

March 30th, 2029 – World leaders gathered on Monday in New Gotham, the city formerly known as Austin, Texas, capital of the Bat-Empire, to pay tribute to the most powerful and terrifying military force the planet has ever known. Dozens of presidents, prime ministers, and monarchs heaped praise and riches upon his gloriousness winged excellence, […]

Doomsday Clock #10 Pushed Back to “In Our Hearts All Along”

In February, Bleeding Cool reported that the delay-plagued Doomsday Clock had suffered another setback, with the Pen-Penultimate issue of the unauthorized sequel to Watchmen pushed back one week, from March 27th to April 3rd. Today, Newsarama reported another delay for the book, with a new release date set for April 10th. However, Bleeding Cool can […]

Report: Schrodinger’s Dean Ambrose to Both Leave and Stay in WWE at the Same Time

Back in January, rumors surfaced on pro wrestling dirt sheets claiming that WWE superstar Dean Ambrose would leave the company after his contract ends in April. Shortly afterward, WWE confirmed Ambrose’s departure, leading many to speculate whether or not the whole thing is work, like Roman Reigns‘ Leukemia. Confusion continued as Ambrose was seen to […]

Faith in U.S. Leadership Demonstrably Bolstered by Uncanny X-Men Relaunch

Last year, Bleeding Cool was the only major media outlet to report that faith in U.S. Leadership had fallen drastically in 2017 due to the controversy surrounding Star Wars: The Last Jedi, particularly due to the movie’s poor performance with Chinese audiences. However, things are looking brighter with the release of an updated Gallup report […]

Black Panther

Oscars Shocker: CIA Reveals Vibranium from Black Panther Isn’t Real

On Sunday, Black Panther was robbed of the Academy Award for Best Picture. But while the shocking loss may have been a blow to fans of the 2018 blockbuster, what came next was truly stunning. The official Twitter account of the Central Intelligence Agency (C.I.A.) chose this moment to strike, revealing that Vibranium, the super-powered […]

WWE Reminded Tye Dillinger Works There When He Requests Release

WWE officials were shocked and confused Wednesday to learn that WWE Superstar Tye Dillinger had requested his release from the company, according to Dan Seltzer’s Wrasslin’ Examiner 1-900 Hotline (get your parents’ permission before calling kids — or don’t. Dan doesn’t care as long as he gets his $11.99 per minute). “Who?” Vince McMahon reportedly […]

Huh? Decoding The Not Ready for White House Player’s SNL Tweet [SATIRE]

On the lucky 13th episode of NBC‘s Saturday Night Live‘s 44th season (let that sink in for a second), viewers were treated to host Don Cheadle (Black Monday), and musical guest Gary Clark Jr. belting out “Pearl Cadillac” and “This Land.” That host/musical combo act alone would be enough to make for a great episode – but […]

Could a Movie be Your New Psychiatrist?

Your behavior in the darkness of a movie theater could be the key diagnostic tool psychologists have been searching for in accurately diagnosing personality disorders. In a recent research study Doctor Clark Stanley, professor of theoretical psychology at Hodgson University, found conclusive links between specific habits of moviegoers and several different personality and mood disorders. […]