Former Green Lantern Writer Ponders Nature of Silver Surfer’s Penis

Justin Jordan is the co-creator of Luther Strode and past writer of DC Comics including Superboy, Deathstroke, and more, but his most relevant experience for this article’s purpose was serving as writer of Green Lantern: New Guardians as part of DC Comics’ Nu52 relaunch. Though Jordan has not written any Marvel cosmic titles, his experience writing Green Lantern makes him something of an expert on comic book space issues. Armed with that expertise, Jordan took to Facebook on Tuesday to ask an important question about a high-profile Marvel character, one which could perhaps be turned into a pitch for a new book.

Jordan presents three options as to the nature of the Silver Surfer’s penis:

So, the Silver Surfer….

– No space penis.
– Silver stuff peels back to reveal non space penis.
– Silver stuff can shift into space penis i.e. he’s grower not a shower.

Truly, this the defining question of our time.

Indeed. And one that we’re pretty sure everyone would like to see explored in the pages of an official Marvel Comic book. Rated MAX, of course.

In his earliest appearances, the Silver Surfer was seemingly depicted as wearing silver trunks on top of his silver-coated body.

Former Green Lantern Writer Ponders Nature of Silver Surfer’s Penis

But in subsequent years, the Surfer is presented as entirely smooth down there, with no panty lines. What does it all mean?

Perhaps there will be some room to explore this concept further in the Marvel Cosmic lineup following Annihilation Scourge.

In the meantime, which of Jordan’s three Silver Surfer penis options do you think is most likely? Let us know in the comments.

Related reading: Bleeding Cool’s deep dive into the theory that Wolverine has two dicks.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

twitter   envelope   globe  


About News with Benefits

Why let facts get in the way of a good story? News with Benefits is just like the actual news, but more interesting because it’s embellished. Yes, it may feature made-up quotes, wrong assertions, and completely baseless speculation, but in a way, isn’t that more honest than the shameless buttkissing and corporate shillery you often find in the “real” news? Don’t answer that.

News with Benefits was pioneered at toilet-themed comic book news and opinion website TheOuthousers.com, which is sadly now defunct, but its stench lives on thanks to the support of your clicks and outraged comments.