When an Island Loves Another Island… X-ual Healing [11-13-19]

Two X-Men comics came out last week: X-Men #2 and Fallen Angels #1. What happened in them? Find out as we recap below.


Sworn to sell comics for Marvel executives who feared and hated the fact that Fox owned their movie rights, The Uncanny X-Men suffered great indignities, but thanks to a corporate merger and a line-wide relaunch, the X-Men can finally get back to doing what they do best: being objectively the best franchise in all of comics.


When an Island Loves Another Island... X-ual Healing [11-13-19]

X-MEN #2 DX
SEP190778
(W) Jonathan Hickman (A/CA) Leinil Francis Yu
When an island full of unspeakable horrors appears on the horizon, the X-Men have their work cut out for themselves keeping Krakoa safe!
Rated T+
In Shops: Nov 13, 2019
SRP: $3.99

What Happened in X-Men #2

The issue opens with papa Cyclops gathering his kids, Rachel and Cable, for a field trip to investigate a strange island that has popped up near Krakoa and which Krakoa is currently moving toward. They hop in a plane and fly over to find a large volcano with glowing rainbow tentacles popping out of it. After trekking through the jungle a bit, they witness a black rhino-like creature eaten by a giant worm, and they obliterate it.

Inside the volcano, a really pale goth dude is talking to his mom through a portal. He is given a mission to find someone and follow them. An infographic on the next page shows us that this person is a Summoner of Arakko, rank High Summoner. There are two lower ranks, Summoner Adept and Summoner Minor. The High Summoner can summon a horde of elementals and three major daemons at one time. In other words, a total badass.

After Cyclops, Cable, and Rachel kill the worm thing, the summoner greets them in a field. Unfortunately, they can’t understand each other. Cable decides to give him a gift: a thermal grenade. The Summoner is pleased, until it blows up. After that, things are summoned and violence occurs until Rachel uses her telepathy to download Krakoan into the Summoner’s mind. Apologies are made, and questions are asked: what is this place and why is Krakoa moving toward it?

Turns out it’s so the islands can have sex.  They do. Everyone watches. The Arak Coral is now part of Krakoa, another infographic reveals. The Volcano is known as the Arak Maw, and it contains a portal to Arakko, which is not currently open. In an epilogue, the Summoner meets with Apocalypse, who recognizes him. He’s the son of Apocalypse’s original horseman, War. Apocalypse vows to save both his Krakoan and Arakkoan children.

Was it Any Good?

This issue was pretty much a vehicle for Krakoa to have island sex, but it also advanced the Arrako storyline and the stuff with Apocalypse’s original horsemen. Along with that, we got some character development with Cyclops, Rachel, and Cable, even if that development seems to take all three of them and their relationship in a different direction than we’ve seen previously. Hickman’s X-Men continues to move a little slow for my tastes, but I knew that was going to be the case as soon as he was announced as the writer.


When an Island Loves Another Island... X-ual Healing [11-13-19]

FALLEN ANGELS #1 DX
SEP190769
(W) Bryan Edward Hill (A) Szymon Kudranski (CA) Ashley Witter
THE DAWN DOES NOT BREAK FOR ALL!
Psylocke finds herself in this new world of Mutantkind unsure of her place in it… but when a face from her past returns only to be killed, she seeks help from others who feel similar to get vengeance. Cable and X-23 join Kwannon for a personal mission that could jeopardize all Mutantkind!
Rated T+
In Shops: Nov 13, 2019
SRP: $4.99

What Happened in Fallen Angels #1

The scene opens with a young girl attaching a device to her head and then freaking out on a subway, eyes bleeding, kicking a bunch of people’s asses before causing the train to crash. She has a butterfly tattoo on the back of her neck. She says the word “Apoth.”

On Krakoa, Kwannon is meditating when a voice begins speaking to her, telling her her enemy is named Apoth and she must kill him. She should go to Tokyo and investigate the train thing. Kwannon goes to visit Magneto, where she reveals in an x-pository conversation that she’s taken the name Psylocke now that Betsy Braddock is Captain Britain. Also, she needs to get to Toyko. Magneto won’t approve of her leaving, attributing her vision to a bad dream in the wake of Xavier’s death in X-Force #1, but he’ll look the other way if she asks Sinister for help. She goes to Sinister, who is amused by Psylocke’s violent nature enough to agree to help her. He tells her to find some allies.

In a flashback to years ago in Japan, a hooded figure gives a young Kwannon her name, “the enemy of peace.”

On Krakoa, Psylocke finds X-23 and Cable in the midst of fighting for fun. She invites them back to her home. She also sees Betsy Braddock, who wants to talk about the whole body thing, but Psylocke doesn’t feel the need to talk about it. At the Reservoir, where Psylocke’s house is, Psylocke invites X-23 and Cable to join her. X-23 takes Psylocke outside and agrees to come, but only if Cable stays behind because he deserves the peace of the island.

In Tokyo, Psylocke and X-23 visit a crimelord named Motoko looking for information about Apoth. Apparently Apoth is rumored to be the name behind a black market technological device called Overclock, assembled from common parts of other devices, that acts as a powerful recreational drug. But its effect is only getting more powerful, and the train incident was the latest “overdose.” Motoko shows Psylocke a video of the train incident, and the butterfly tattoo sets off another flashback that seems to reference the butterfly tattoo. Psylocke flips out and slices up Motoko’s iPad, then demands to know where Apoth is. Motoko is hesitant, so Psylocke fries her brain. Even X-23 is like “wtf?” But Psylocke telepathically shows her that she has a daughter, which is connected to the tattoo. She also has a location on Apoth. They head out.

An infographic page talks about how Overclock works. It’s like digital PCP.

On a farm outside Tokyo, Psylocke and X-23 find five children who are bleeding from their eyes, similar to the girl on the train at the beginning of the issue. Four of them immediately drop dead. The one that remains speaks in the voice of Apoth, who warns them to stick to Krakoa and leave him alone. Another flashback shows an older Kwannon, fully grown and ready to begin her career of murder.

Back on Krakoa, Psylocke cuts a deal with Sinister. If he shields her actions from the leadership on Krakoa, she will recruit a team, hunt down Apoth, bring him and his powers to Sinister to use as he wishes, and then kill Apoth. She orders X-23 and Cable (who is back on the team) to find them more team members. Jeeze, she just said she’d recruit the team and she’s already delegating. Looks like the new Psylocke is leadership material. The issue ends there.

Was it Any Good?

I’m still not quite sure what to make of this issue. On the one hand, a lot happened in it, but not all of it was entirely comprehensible. It also feels like something of a setback for X-23, who has evolved into a highly capable hero in her own right and doesn’t necessarily need Psylocke to mold her into anything. Judgment is reserved on this one for a few issues.


Wolverine’s Weiner X-Pick of the Week

X-Men #2 featured two islands having sex and laid the groundwork for some future storylines. That’s enough to defeat Fallen Angels and win the Wolverine’s Weiner X-Pick of the Week award. Congratulations to the creative team.

Past winners:


Further Reading

There have been some remarkable breakthroughs in the theory about how many dicks Wolverine has (two) and you should definitely read about them here. A lot of people have judged our theory to be crude, but come on people, we’re reading comics about two islands having sex here, so is anyone really in any position to be casting stones?


Next week have a new Deadpool series debuting, as well as Excalibur #2 and Marauders #2 in a head-to-head battle of the best X-Books to debut in the Dawn of X.

Read more X-ual Healing here:

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

twitter   envelope   globe