Everyone loves collecting comic books for the social prestige and scintillating Twitter conversation. But what if you could also get filthy stinking rich off these things?!
On Wednesday, Inc.com published an article which was subsequently promoted by Publishers Weekly purporting to contain the secrets behind doing just that, but as it turns out, sometimes if something seems too good to be true, it just might be. Who woulda thunk? Well, maybe all these people…
This is a deeply ill-informed article that promotes a new comics publisher that charges for submissions, which I have never seen from any reputable publisher. @PublishersWkly, pls consider taking this article down. Comics creators, please do not take this article seriously. https://t.co/fYMCAKrBnf
— Greg Pak (@gregpak) March 13, 2019
Both of the businesses linked to in the article, one of which hasn’t even launched yet, are managed by the PR firm Adams Davy. Was this pay-for-play? pic.twitter.com/4zCYo1AS0w
— Jennifer de Guzman Strikes Again (@Jennifer_deG) March 13, 2019
— Laura Hudson (@laura_hudson) March 13, 2019
This article is straight garbage.
— Headlocked ECCC -1702 (@HeadlockedComic) March 13, 2019
Bogus. Well, never fear, aspiring millionaires! Bleeding Cool is here to explain the real way to turn your comics hobby into a lucrative career, and we’re not going to do it with a thinly-veiled promotional puff piece. We’re going to do it in a way that meets the highest of all ethical journalistic standards. That’s right: a listicle.
Here you go, true believers: the top 5 ways to turn your comic book hobby into a multi-million dollar enterprise!
1. Buy lots of #1 issues
A little known secret amongst the most experienced comic book collectors is that the most valuable comics you can buy are number one issues. A lot of foolish collectors buy comics with numbers like “47” or “273,” but if you really want to get the comics that are sure to be worth big money in the future, you’ve got to stick the number ones.
Why, nearly thirty years ago, we picked up a copy of every single cover version of X-Men #1 by Chris Claremont and Jim Lee, and today, just one of those comics that we paid only $1.50 each for can be sold for… *checks ebay…* $.99. Hmm. But just you wait, in another thirty years, it’s gonna be worth a billion dollars for sure!
The best part is, comic book publishers want to help you get rich, which is why they release new number one issues for every comic they publish every 12-18 months.
2. Never actually read your comics
This is a rookie mistake that a lot of collectors make, but you should never, under any circumstances, actually read your comics. A comic plummets in value if you even so much as think about reading it, so it’s probably best to not even look at them. Just immediately place the comic in a sealed bag with cardboard backing board, place that bagged comic inside an additional cardboard box, and then place the box in your basement for safekeeping for the next several decades.
Or even better, you could get the comic professionally graded and placed inside a hard plastic shell. The important thing is that you definitely do not read the comic. Even if you buy a second copy of the comic so that you have one to save and one to read, you probably shouldn’t read that second one either. You never know how much it’s gonna be worth, and it’s far better to have 2 bazillion dollars than it is to have one bazillion.
3. Variants, variants, variants
If you thought that buying multiple copies of number one issues and then storing them unread in your basement was a surefire way to make a skillion bucks, wait until you hear about this: comic book publishers often (and by often we mean every god damn time) put out several different versions of every new number one issue they release, each featuring a different cover by a different artist. These versions have lower print runs than the regular covers, and comic book stores have to jump through a lot of hoops to obtain one to sell, so that means they’re ultra rare.
There are all sorts of variants to choose from, each one more valuable than the next. You can find regular variants, wraparound variants, virgin variants, foil variants, 3D variants, blank variants, black and white variants, dog anus variants, glass variants, fuzzy variants, homage variants, nuclear variants, and many more kinds. When in doubt, just buy one of every variant you can find and then sit back and relax with the knowledge that you’ve not only ensured a healthy financial future, not only for yourself and several generations of your lazy, entitled descendants, but for the comic book industry as well.
4. More variants
It can never hurt to have too many variants.
5. If all else fails, write shill articles about getting rich in comics on the internet
Okay, so getting rich off of comics didn’t exactly work out the way you hoped. But selling a valuable comic collection isn’t the only way to make money off comics fandom. You could use all that knowledge you’ve acquired from decades of time well spent collecting funny books to launch a career in the highly lucrative world of comics journalism. And if you work hard at that, eventually, maybe you can get a job writing for a well-known publication, and then after doing that for a while and building the trust of your readers, one day a startup company might offer you some sweet payola to write a shill article promoting their brand. Cha-ching!
Uh… not that we’re saying anything like that has ever happened of course. But if it did, you’d be raking in the cash!
As you can see, collecting comics is pretty much a surefire way to become a self-made millionaire, so what are you waiting for?! Get out there and start amassing your fortune today!