Report: Schrodinger's Dean Ambrose to Both Leave and Stay in WWE at the Same Time

Back in January, rumors surfaced on pro wrestling dirt sheets claiming that WWE superstar Dean Ambrose would leave the company after his contract ends in April. Shortly afterward, WWE confirmed Ambrose's departure, leading many to speculate whether or not the whole thing is work, like Roman Reigns' Leukemia. Confusion continued as Ambrose was seen to job out to EC3 on WWE Raw, proving that he is definitely going to leave, before defeating him in a rematch the following week, proving he is definitely going to stay. And in just the last few days, WOR's Bryan Alvarez has reported rumors that Ambrose is now planning to stay in WWE, while WOR's Dave Meltzer went on to report that Ambrose is still expected to leave.

So what is the current status of Ambrexit?

Today, a new report appeared on Dan Seltzer's Wrestling Examiner 1-900 hotline that should clear up any confusion: Ambrose will both stay with WWE and leave in April at the same time.

For more on this, we spoke with Professor Thaddeus T. "The Crusher" Puffinbottoms, a world-renowned expert and wrestlologist at one of the country's most prestigious higher learning academies, the WCW Power Plant.

"It's really very simple," Professor Puffinbottoms explained. "Dean Ambrose is facing a dilemma. Should he stay in WWE, where he has reportedly been unhappy with his creative direction? Or should he go somewhere where he might make less money but have a greater degree of creative freedom to practice his craft?"

According to Professor Puffinbottoms, the decision isn't as straightfoward as it seems.

"If Ambrose goes, there could be trouble," the professor told us. "But if he stays, there could be double."

Ultimately, things would be a lot easier if someone would just let Ambrose know: should he stay, or should he go? Unfortunately, that's a decision Ambrose will need to make on his own.

"Until then," Puffinbottoms concluded, "we must assume that Dean Ambrose is both staying with and leaving WWE at the same time, until his contract actually ends and he turns out to do one or the other."

"In other words, he is Schrodinger's Dean Ambrose," Puffinbottoms revealed, referring to Irwin R. Schrodinger, a Hungarian professional wrestler from the early 1900s whose gimmick involved carrying around a dead cat in a box.*

* – for more on Schrodinger's career, see Aubrey Sitterson and Chris Moreno's The Comic Book Story of Professional Wrestling

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

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