Fat-Shaming the Beast in Astonishing X-Men #15 Preview

Posted by September 2, 2018 Comment

On Wednesday, Astonishing X-Men #15 hits stores, with a cover inspired by the hit song Wanted: Dead or Alive by writer Matthew Rosenberg’s favorite band, Bon Jovi. And as the following preview reveals that Havok’s team of mutants is as authorized as a Watchmen sequel, will their fugitive status finally inspire camaraderie between the outlaw X-Men?

It seems not, as the very first scene in the preview shows Dazzler calling Beast fat as he gobbles french fries. The Beast, for his part, blames it on his winter coat and fast metabolism. On the surface, it would appear to be a quip, but further research shows that Beast is telling the truth. Amongst the powers listed on the Marvel Wikia for Hank McCoy is a regenerative healing factor which does, in fact, grant him a fast metabolism:

  • Regenerative Healing Factor: Beast’s metabolism enables him to repair mild to moderate injuries much faster than a normal human. For instance, he can recover from minor ailments, such as a severe cold or fever within a few hours. More severe injuries, like broken bones, used to heal within a few days, whereas normal humans might take many weeks or even months. However, his healing abilities have increased to the point where he recovers from mild to moderate injuries within the span of a few hours. However, he cannot regenerate destroyed organs or severed limbs.
    • Contaminant Resistance: Hank possesses a highly advanced immune system, which is a partial reason why he is able to recover from mild aliments among other forms of sickness within a few hours.
    • Foreign Chemical Resistance: Hank also possesses a high immunity to foreign chemicals, such as tranquilizers and certain types of poisons used by Kravan the Hunter during their encounter during his early years with the X-Men.
    • Temperature Resistance: Due to a combination of his own healing abilities and his fine coat of blue fur, Beast is resistant to freezing temperatures. This was evident even before his ape-like form, to the point of being frozen in solid ice by Iceman for a short time and survived with a moderate case of shivers once freed during his early years with the X-Men.
    • Telepathic Resistance: Hank possesses a moderate resistance to telepathic manipulation, and was able to resist Cassandra Nova’s high level telepathic powers for a short time until she used his own fears of devolving into a mindless animal against him.
    • Slowed Aging: Beast also possesses a slight degree of slowed aging due to his own healing abilities. Despite being 40 years of age since the time of Cassandra Nova’s attack, he still retains the physical appearance and vitality of a man in his prime.

So if Beast’s powers make him immune to the increased risks of obesity and worse from gobbling down french fries, who are we, or Dazzler, to judge? Live your best life, Beast. Don’t let the haters get you down.

Bleeding Cool Rumourmonger-in-Chief Rich Johnston has some other observations about this preview, and connected Matthew Rosenberg comics, if you’re interested. Being a skinny man these days, he needn’t concern himself with these matters, but your pal Jude Terror is here to speak on behalf of fat people everywhere when we say: leave Beast alone!

ASTONISHING X-MEN #15
(W) Matthew Rosenberg (A/CA) Greg Land
• After the events of last issue, Havok and his team are on the run from the law.
• Plus, the Reavers’ secret mission is revealed! Rated T+ In Shops: Sep 05, 2018 SRP: $3.99

(Last Updated September 2, 2018 10:59 am )

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About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

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