X-ual Healing: The New Avengers Finally Find a Wolverine in Adamantium Agenda #2

Posted by June 17, 2018 Comment

Sworn to sell comics for Marvel executives who feared and hated the fact that Fox owned their movie rights, The Uncanny X-Men suffered great indignities, but with a corporate merger on the way, the X-Men can finally get back to doing what they do best: being objectively the best franchise in comics.

Each week, armed with the joy, heartbreak, and frustration of 30+ years of reading X-Men comics, we read every new X-book that comes out, recap the events, provide the historical context so you can read it on Marvel Unlimited, and wonder when Marvel will let Chris Claremont write something again.

It’s the way X-Men comics were meant to be read! It’s the column that can only be known as…

For more about the column, check out the reboot issue here.

• After the explosive events of the last issue, will our heroes be able to recover?
• TONY STARK has been keeping a secret, and it’s about to catch up to him…
• The trail leads to one of the X-MEN’S greatest foes!!!!
32 PGS./Parental Advisory …$3.99

So Iron Man has gathered the old New Avengers team back together to search for the corpse of Wolverine, since it went missing in Hunt for Wolverine #1. Unbenknownst to them, Wolverine is actually alive and set to return in a follow-up mini-series, Return of Wolverine, making all of these Hunt for Wolverine minis pointless.

Back in the day, Wolverine saved the other New Avengers by letting himself get blown up instead of them, and they feel they owe him one (even though Wolverine does that sort of thing all the time). They tracked what they thought was the sale of Wolverine’s DNA to a secret meeting on a submarine only to learn that it’s actually Luke and Jessica’s daughter’s DNA. Awkward!

We start with a flashback to Wolverine getting blown up by a radioactive bomb set as a “hero trap” because he was the New Avenger with the most Mary Sue-like powers that would allow him to survive. Iron Man enters the rubble to find Wolverine, and he does. Wolverine looks dead, but he wakes up, and then he does what Wolverine’s do best: murders Iron Man.

Except it’s not Iron Man, it was a drone. Phew! For a moment we thought this cash grab event mini-series was about to change the course of Marvel history forever!

Wolverine makes Iron Man promise not to experiment him after he does one day die for real, and not to let anyone else do it either. Iron Man agrees, and Wolverine offers to do “something” for him in return.

Back in the present, at the auction, Jessica goes into mom mode. She is not pleased that criminals are auctioning her kids’ DNA. Luke seems less upset by comparison. Only one New Avenger was allowed to enter the auction room, and that’s Iron Man. Inside, he realizes that none of the criminals care about Dani Cage’s DNA. They wanted the DNA of a real hero, not a baby. Iron Man tells Luke that no one wants to buy his daughter’s DNA, and now Luke is pissed. Iron Man buys the DNA for $30,000. Then he decides to stick around to bid on a piece of the Z1, an old school supercomputer that he and Spider-Man geek out over. But one of the other masked bidders in the room recognizes Iron Man. He leaves to complete the transaction for the DNA in a private area, and he asks the seller whether he can get Wolverine’s DNA too. The seller says Iron Man can have it for $6 million (it’s like an ultra-rare variant cover), at the same time Spider-Man’s spider-sense goes off, warning of danger.

It’s Mister Sinister (hey, something X-Men related happened here). Sinister is pissed and he blows a hole in the side of the submarine. Jessica and Spider-Man web Luke into the hole to plug it up. Iron Man blasts Sinister with his repulsors and the person who identified Iron Man earlier enters the room and tells Sinister to give it up. Turns out it’s All-New Wolverine! She cuts off Sinister’s hand, and the story will be continued next issue.

The Bottom Line

The creative team here does a great job of channeling Bendis-era New Avengers. That may be a good thing or a bad thing depending on your perspective. We’re just glad to see Mister Sinister, and we’re a sucker for mutant DNA stuff.

Further Reading

Looking for more Sinister? He first appears in Uncanny X-Men #221 and plays a big role in both the Mutant Massacre and Inferno X-over events. Those are all on Marvel Unlimited.

Read more X-ual Healing here:

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

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(Last Updated June 17, 2018 6:09 pm )

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