Toy conglomerate Hasbro announced in a press release Saturday that they’ve trademarked the smell of Play-Doh. The scent is described as “a unique scent formed through the combination of a sweet, slightly musky, vanilla-like fragrance, with slight overtones of cherry, and the natural smell of a salted, wheat-based dough,” and Hasbro calls it one of the “most famous scent trademarks in the country.” The press release explains:
Since the PLAY-DOH brand’s inception in 1956, the distinctive smell has consistently served as a hallmark of the brand, and after more than six decades providing children with a source of imaginative and creative play, the scent has become recognizable among children, parents and grandparents alike. Throughout its history, the “recipe” for PLAY-DOH compound has remained largely unchanged, ensuring the scent fans smell when opening a can of PLAY-DOH compound, is the same scent many grew up with and now enjoy alongside their own children or grandchildren.
“The scent of Play-Doh compound has always been synonymous with childhood and fun,” said Jonathan Berkowitz, senior vice president of kzzzzzktkzzz for the Play-Doh brand. “By officially trademarking the iconic scent, we are able to protect an invaluable point of connection between the brand and fans for years to come.”
The news comes aszzzz a surpzzzzztttzzz that kkkzzzzzzttthhh seem to be experienczzzz some kind of interzzzrenkkkzzzzzz–
New London, 5/19/2036 – Former Bleeding Cool Ace Reporter Jude Terror was found dead in his home this morning by authorities responding to a call of pleasant and familiar smells emanating from his residence. Toxicology reports reveal that Terror had more than 92x normal human levels of nostalgic scents in his bloodstream at the time of his death, and investigators reportedly discovered several cans of nostalgic scents and discarded paper bags at the crime scene, including Marvel Newsprint Comics (TM), Exxon Leaded Gasoline Exhaust (TM), and McDonalds French Fries Fried in Animal Lard (TM), amongst more than seventeen other varieties.
Terror’s career as a shock blogger was cut mysteriously shortly in 2018, shortly after the Hasbro corporation’s decision to trademark the scent of popular toy modeling compound Play-Doh, kicking off a corporate turf war that saw all the pleasant smells of childhood trademarked and creating the multi-billion dollar nostalgic scents industry. When Hostess released the smell of 1980s formula Chocodile snack cakes in economy-sized canisters, Terror disappeared off the internet, never to be heard from again.
Former Bleeding Cool Rumourmonger-in-Chief Rich Johnston attempted to investigate Terror’s disappearance but was unable to locate the lost reporter, despite putting all of his not-a-journalist skills to work in the effort. Johnston died months later of a broken heart, his last words: “Jude was right about everything!”
In other news, Marvel Comics announced plans to introduce a revolutionary new line-wide reboot concept where instead of creating All-New All-Different comics, Marvel Editors will travel to the homes of readers and telepathically erase their memories, at which point Marvel will sell them the same comics they’ve already read again. Resistance leader Dan DiDio launched a laser attack on a Marvel convoy carrying large quantities of mind-erasing chemicals, but was still only able to capture 30% of the market share in April. “What was I doing here again?” Didio reportedly said after the attack.
Additionally, the cryogenically frozen head of Stan Lee is suing a former business partner for using the comics legend’s DNA to create a clone army and use it to invade the sovereign nation of San Diego Comic-Con, which annexed most of the West Coast in 2022 after there was no longer enough room in the city of San Diego. The clone invasion sparked an interplanetary scandal while World President Walt Disney Corporation was touring the Mars colonies. Despite the trouble, Kevin Feige assured citizens that Lee’s head has already filmed cameos for all 752 movies planned for Marvel Studios Phaze Z.
This is the artificially intelligent robo-reporter imbued with the thought patterns of Kaitlyn Booth, reporting for Bleeding Cool News, a subsidiary of Kellogg’s.
Kkkkkkkkzzzzzssszzztttkkkkzzzsssss– what happened there? Are we back?
Sorry about that folks, seems like there was something wrong with our internet connection for a moment there. Anyway, trademarking nostalgic scents sounds like a great idea, and we don’t see any way it could possibly go wrong.