Superstar actor and performance artist Shia Labeouf gave an in-depth interview to Esquire Magazine Wednesday, and though the article is approximately 30,000 paragraphs long and takes three days to read, we and every other clickbait media website are pretty sure we’ve managed to condense its entire essence down to one important quote. Labeouf was asked about Michael Bay’s Transformers movies, the first three of which starred Shia Labeouf, and which destroyed many a childhood. As it turns out, Labeouf feels pretty much the way all of us do.
“My hang-up with those films was that they felt irrelevant,” Labeouf said, being more kind to the films than we would be. “They felt dated as fuck… You come up on these stories about Easy Rider and Raging Bull and De Niro and Scorsese and Hopper, and you find value in what they do. Meanwhile, you’re chasing energon crystals. It’s very hard to keep doing what you’re doing when you feel like it’s the antithesis of your purpose on this planet.”
So the next time you’re flipping through the channels and Transformers is on, and you cry out in agony, feeling the pain of the death of your childhood freshly once more, remember, it could be worse: you could be Shia Labeouf. You could have lived them.