Bleeding Cool Mail Bag: The Old-School Comment Section Returns

Yes, we know. The comment section is broken. We’re sad about it too. So we’ve decided to go old school. We’re going to open up the ol’ Bleeding Cool mail bag and see what people have been sending us through the contact form currently prominently displayed at the bottom of all articles due to a CSS or javascript error. Unfortunately, either due to a glitch in the contact system or by design, most of these were sent anonymously, so we haven’t been able to respond, which makes this a doubly great opportunity for us to interact with our beloved readers.

Here we go. Anonymous writes…

You are retarded

Eat some tide pods. Seriously. You post things that make the world around you worse. You suck. Go away.

Thanks for writing, pal. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I don’t know what’s wrong with kids these days. Back in my day, if we were gonna do something incredibly stupid and dangerous like eat a plastic pod full of cleaning solvents, it would be because we were damn sure it was gonna get us high. We tried some tide pods the other day, and we felt absolutely nothing. Thankfully, the medication the doctors gave us while we were having our stomachs pumped did give us a nice buzz.

Next, Anonymous writes…

Your a left wing loon

You can’t resist making a stupid movie about your political views,typical of leftist like you

First of all, friend, you can say whatever you want about us, but we can’t abide by your attacks on grammar. What you mean to say is, “You are a left wing loon,” and the proper contraction to use in that instance is “you’re,” not “your.” On to your other point, we were at first confused because we haven’t made any movies at all, so our political views haven’t had a chance to be showcased in them one way or another. Then, we realized that perhaps you’re making us some kind of offer. “Hey Jude — you know you can’t resist making a stupid movie about your political views!” You know what? You’re right. If you’re willing to finance it, we can get to work on a script. How does this sound for a title: Justice League: The Snyder Cut. We may need to hire a trademark attorney, so we hope you’ve got a big bank account.

Next, Anonymous writes…

delete this article

please keep politics out of this please.. this right here is the definition of propoganda.

The definition of propaganda is “information, especially of a biased or misleading nature, used to promote or publicize a particular political cause or point of view.” We think what you meant to say is that our article is exemplary of propaganda, and though we don’t know which article you’re talking about, you’re probably correct.

Next, Anonymous writes…

First off — any updates on reviving Firefly? Secondly: we’re called browncoats, not “firebronies” ffs.

A fellow firebrony! You’re in luck, dear reader, because we do have an update on Firefly. It’s coming back. You can read all about it here.

Next, Anonymous writes…

Who cares what an “Irish” critic says about a “black” movie? Does people actually read what culture jackers say?

Thanks for sending us your thoughts, sir or madam. We agree with your point about cultural appropriation. We’re not particularly interested either in “jackers” who exploit other cultures, which often tends to go hand-in-hand with whitewashing and lack of representation, all of which, we agree with you, are a problem.

However, in the case of the Irish critic who negatively reviewed Black Panther, spoiling its 100% perfect Rotten Tomatoes score, the popularity of that article over the last 24 hours seems to reveal that lots of people are interested. Well, at least in concept. As far as we can tell, you’re the only one to actually read beyond the headline before yelling at us on Twitter, if only so that you could reach the contact form at the bottom of the page to yell at us directly via email.

In either case, we appreciate you taking the time to read and write in.

Next, Anonymous writes…

Get over yourself.

Irish man writes a review that I don’t like? Better blame Trump and America!

An Irish man didn’t like the movie. Get over it. Hillary lost, despite the colossal media push. Get over it.

Those two things have nothing to do with each other. Get over yourself.

People like you are what’s wrong with America.

We’re not sure where you’re getting that we didn’t like the review written by the Irish critic. We’re simply reporting the news. The Irish critic wrote that, due to Trump’s America, his expectations for the movie were elevated, and since the movie failed to meet those elevated expectations, he gave the movie a 60% score, which is right on the threshold of Rotten Tomatoes’ rotten/fresh designation. Since A caused B and B caused C, it’s completely logical to say that Trump spoiled Black Panther‘s perfect Rotten Tomatoes score. How you feel about that is between you and Jesus. We’re just giving you the facts.

As to your other comments, the great thing about America is that people like you and people like us can tell whichever people we disagree with that it’s people like them that are what’s wrong with America. It’s a time-honored tradition going back to the very founding of our country. Without people to call “what’s wrong with America,” America wouldn’t be America at all, which means, in a way, the people that are what’s wrong with America are the people who make America great.

So thank you. It’s nice to feel appreciated, and also, we are really looking forward to the upcoming AMC drama, Better Blame Trump and America.

Next, Anonymous writes…

test…test…is this thing on?

We can’t even crap on you in a public forum anymore? We have to actually email you to tell you that you’re dragging the site down into clickbait hell?

Yeah, sorry about that buddy. But on the bright side, you’re moving up in the world. Sure, it might have taken a little more effort to hurl abuse at us via email instead of in the comments, and yes, the instant gratification factor is gone because you can’t see the effect your hurtful words had on us as soon as you post your comment and we reply, but on the other hand, you’ve moved up out of the comments section and into one of the articles.

You’re really going places. You’re practically a comics journalist now! There’s just a little bit of an initiatiation we’re going to need you to complete before we can let you into our secret liberal cabal.

While you get yourself strapped into the chair and put on the metal helmet, let’s move onto our last letter…

Anonymous writes…

Hey, Jude. Where did the comments go?

The comments really haven’t gone anywhere, friend. Yes, the comments section is broken, and Bleeding Cool staffers are working around the clock trying to get them working again. But the comments themselves, well, if all of this hate mail has shown us anything, we’re pretty sure those have been inside of us all along.

And thanks to all of you, for reading, for sending us your feedback, and, most of all, for giving us your clicks. It’s you, the readers, who make what we do here in comicland worthwhile, and by worthwhile, we mean your clicks fuel the ad revenue that pays our meager salary. So please keep doing that, and we hope to see you in the comments section again soon, where at least we know you’re occupied and not out in public where you could potentially do more harm.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

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