Fanboy Rampage? Senator Rand Paul Rips Trump, Cruz, Fox News in Annual Festivus Rant

Posted by December 24, 2017 Comment

It’s the most wonderful time of the year — the time that Libertarian Senator Rand Paul reveals that even lizard people have a sense of humor by celebrating the holidays by ripping his colleagues in the Republican establishment. Paul took to Twitter to participate in the airing of grievances, one of the traditions of the fictional* holiday Festivus, invented in an episode of the TV show Seinfeld.

*Fictional here being a loose term when more “serious” holiday beliefs include a magical fat man in red pajamas riding a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer around the globe to break into houses, leave presents for children, and eat a crapload of cookies.

Rand Paul and his protege, Kane

Paul kicked things off on Saturday morning:

And he immediately had jokes for President Trump‘s War on the War on Christmas:

Never explain the joke, Rand.

Paul seemed to take issue with Twitter’s recent crackdown on Nazis:

And had some words for the director of the EPA:

He then went after his Senate colleague Ted Cruz following Cruz’s Twitter spat with Star Wars: The Last Jedi star Mark Hamill:

Cruz continued to make pop culture references, ensuring we could justify publishing a clickbait article about his tweets on Bleeding Cool to our editor:

Then it was time for Harry Reid to get some:

And let’s not forget about Senator Orrin Hatch:

But then it was time for the lecture:

Happy Festivus to you too, Rand Paul. You’ve given us the greatest gift we could have hoped for: clickbait article fodder on a long, slow Holiday weekend.

(Last Updated December 24, 2017 10:09 am )

About Jude Terror

Former siterunner of TheOuthousers.com during its golden age, scourge of Rich Johnstons, and hardcore X-men aficionado Jude Terror now delivers his post-modern take on entertainment "journalism" EXCLUSIVELY to the readers of Bleeding Cool, whether they like it or not.*

* Usually, they don't.

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