Last Jedi Star Mark Hamill Disses Ted Cruz over Smarm-splaining Net Neutrality

Posted by December 17, 2017 Comment

An epic battle between light and dark the likes of which has only been seen in the Star Wars franchise is playing out on Twitter between Star Wars: The Last Jedi star Mark Hamill and United States Senator Ted Cruz. At stake is not mastery of the Force, but rather a similarly important power: the internet. Hamill took issue with a video posted to conservative blog The Daily Caller mocking critics of the FCC’s repeal of net neutrality regulations by FCC Chairman Ajit Pai.

Angered by the video, Hamill called out Pai on Twitter, writing:

Harsh words, and harsher hashtags. Pai didn’t respond, but Senator Ted Cruz took issue with Hamill’s criticism and decided to white knight for the FCC Chairman.

But Hamill wasn’t having it, accusing the Senator of “smarm-spaining [sic]” while simultaneously taking Cruz to task for misspelling Hamill’s name. Hamill then drew from the dark side of the Force to blast Cruz over his well-publicized weakness for liking porn videos on Twitter.

Cruz, however, showed that he truly is well versed in the powers of the dark side, responding to Hamill with the rare and complex Twitter technique of the double quote tweet:

Hamill hasn’t responded yet to Cruz’s barrage, but we’re certain he will. He’s probably just taking a break to chug some delicious green alien milk straight from the teat. Don’t tell Ted Cruz, though — he might end up liking a video of that on Twitter.

Exciting back-and-forths like this is why we definitely plan to pay the $49.95 upgrade to the Twitter tier of our internet service once internet service providers start taking advantage of all their new “freedoms” to throttle content and jack up prices.

Featured image credit: Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com

(Last Updated December 17, 2017 5:19 pm )

About Jude Terror

Former siterunner of TheOuthousers.com during its golden age, Jude Terror now delivers his modern take on entertainment journalism EXCLUSIVELY to the readers of Bleeding Cool, whether they like it or not.

View All Posts


Send this to a friend