Mayoral Candidate Glenn Jacobs: “I Delight in Pain. I Delight in Horror.”

Knox County mayoral candidate Glenn Jacobs stopped in Los Angeles, CA Monday to deliver a stump speech to supporters at a WWE rally. Jacobs is one of three candidates in the Republican primary that takes place next spring in the Tennessee county that contains the city of Knoxville. But instead of addressing issues from his campaign platform, which include limited government, lower taxes, and a solution for the opioid epidemic, Jacobs issued a bizarre personal message to rival Braun Strowman.

“Braun, you’ve been a monster among men for so long that perhaps you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a monster among monsters,” Jacobs told the man who he recently forced into the back of a garbage truck, turning on the compactor to crush Strowman.

“I delight in pain,” Jacobs announced while wearing a mask and a wig and standing in a dimly lit room. Jacobs’ campaign speeches have been becoming darker and more bizarre of late. “I delight in horror.”

Though Jacobs is running as a libertarian candidate and has obtained the endorsement of Senator Rand Paul, his temperament is unusual for a county mayor. Jacobs once electrocuted his boss Shane McMahon’s testicles, and was captured on camera lighting an interviewer on fire.

“Next week, I will delight as you and I step into the ring again,” Jacobs announced, apparently scheduling another appearance in Cleveland, far outside Knox County, to pursue a personal vendetta against Strowman rather than focusing on his campaign. “Together, we will descend into the abyss. But only one monster will emerge.”

That is likely the way Jacobs’ opponents in the mayoral primary are feeling, and as long as Jacobs remains distracted by his obsession with Strowman, his chances of winning will be dragged straight to hell.

 

 

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.