Knox County Mayoral Candidate Glenn Jacobs Takes More Time Off Campaign To Assault Braun Strowman

Posted by November 21, 2017 Comment

Knox County mayoral candidate Glenn Jacobs has left the campaign trail once again, returning to WWE Monday Night Raw last night to attack previous assault victim Braun Strowman from behind with a steel chair. Jacobs had previously tried to murder Strowman by shoving into the back of a garbage truck and turning on the compactor. Jacobs may have caused permanent damage to Strowman, who left the arena with trouble breathing, during the attack.

Jacobs, a Republican candidate endorsed by Senator Rand Paul, returned to WWE in October to attack Roman Reigns, a wrestler with extremely low approval ratings, in what was considered a brilliant political maneuver to win voters. However, as the primary election approaches, Jacobs seems to be spending more and more time pursuing vendettas with wrestlers.

According to world-renowned political science expert and Bleeding Cool consultant, Professor Thaddeus T. Puffinbottoms, voters are beginning to take notice.

“In a recent poll of Knox County residents, nearly one third of likely voters said were ‘somewhat concerned’ that Jacobs would be ‘more focused on revenge against his enemies than on fulfilling campaign promises,'” Professor Puffinbottoms reveals. “Over one third of voters described themselves as ‘very concerned.'”

Their concerns are well founded. Jacobs has a history of becoming enraged at the slightest offense, like the time Chris Jericho accidentally spilled coffee on him. And once angered, Jacobs has a history of taking things far, like the time he lit Jim Ross on fire during an interview, or the time he electrocuted WWE official Shane McMahon’s testicles.

“Americans elected Donald Trump, another pro wrestler turned volatile Republican politician, and some of them are having second thoughts after seeing the results,” Puffinbottoms explained. “Maybe they’re starting to think it might be better to have a president who doesn’t call the leader of a nuclear armed nation ‘short and fat’ on Twitter, or a mayor who won’t chokeslam a county clerk through a table.”

“Of course, it’s hard to tell how the electorate will swing these days,” Puffinbottoms admitted. “The crowd was cheering when Roman Reigns won the Intercontinental Title from The Miz last night, so pretty much anything is possible.”

(Last Updated November 20, 2017 10:31 pm )