In a bizarre campaign stump speech delivered Monday Night at the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia,Knox County Mayoral Candidate Glenn Jacobs referred to himself as “sick and depraved” and graphically described his attempted murder of a rival, before engaging in a brawl later in the night that ended with unknown injuries for both of the men involved and thousands of dollars of property damage.
“Even someone as sick and depraved as I am can smile,” Jacobs told voters Monday, highlighting that the libertarian Republican can identify with his constituents in Knox County, Tennessee, as long as you don’t count the fact that Jacobs still has all of his teeth. With a sadistic grin on his face, Jacobs recounted the night that he stuffed rival Braun Strowman into the back of a garbage truck and turned on the compactor, only one of the horrible crimes he’s committed throughout his long pro wrestling and political career.
“All I have to do is remember what I did to Braun Strowman,” Jacobs, who has been endorsed by Senator Rand Paul, admitted to a live audience and television cameras. “I can still remember the sound of that garbage truck crushing his body. A true symphony of horrors.”
“Tonight, I’m going to show Braun Strowman that there are worse things in life than death,” Jacobs explained, perhaps referring to high taxes and big government, two important issues in Jacobs’ mayoral campaign. “That’s me.”
Later that night, Jacobs squared off with Strowman in a violent brawl that ended when Strowman power slammed both men straight through the wood and canvas of the ring, causing untold structural damage. No plan was announced to pay for the damage, but WWE will likely pass on the cost to taxpayers and/or ticket buyers.
In May 2018, Jacobs will square off once again, this time in a triple threat primary match with fellow Republican candidates Bob Thomas and Jimmy “JJ” Jones. If Jacobs’ battle with Strowman Monday night is any indication, the candidates are in for a real slobberknocker of an election fight.
At press time, a retired man with a brain injury, also a former partner of Jacobs’, was expected to make his first public appearance Tuesday since being violently assaulted by Jacobs in a dark room two weeks ago.
- Kane Wins Semi-Final Match in Knox County Mayoral Tournament
- Mayoral Candidate Kane Survives Brutal Attack by Braun Strowman on WWE Raw
- WWE Superstar Kane on Royal Rumble Title Feud: "This May Be the Last One"
- In Holiday Message, Mayoral Candidate Glenn Jacobs Demands Constituents Buy WWE Video Game
- Trying To Survive? WWE Booked Survivor Series Like A Fire Sale
- The Hulk Just Learned #MarvelDeclassified Drops Tomorrow, and You Won’t Guess What it Makes Him Want to Do - July 22, 2018
- Guardians of the Galaxy Star Dave Bautista on James Gunn: Whatcha Gonna Do When #Cybernazis Come for You? - July 22, 2018
- Uncanny X-Men Returns in November - July 22, 2018
- Chris Claremont Writes Magneto for X-Men Black Weekly One-Shots - July 22, 2018
- First Look at Steve McNiven’s Interior Artwork for Return of Wolverine #1 - July 22, 2018