The Storybook Romance Of Paige And Alberto El Patron Is Officially Over

Posted by November 10, 2017 Comment

Great news, ladies! Alberto El Patron is single again!

It feels like it was only yesterday that we were reading the romantic stories of Paige and Alberto El Patron defending their love amidst domestic violence allegations levied by Paige’s family in the wake of a public airport altercation between the company that got the Orlando police and TMZ involved, but all good things must come to an end. And that’s what the relationship between Paige and Alberto El Patron seems to have done, even if police ended up not filing charges (though they said they could have filed them against Paige).

In a video posted to snapchat and reported by Pro Wrestling Sheet, Paige can be heard to say, “That’s why I’m single,” confirming rumors that the storybook engagement has been broken off. Not since Prince Charles and Princess Di has the world been so enraptured in a relationship, hanging on to every one of Alberto El Patron’s words as he derided Paige’s employer and threatened to fight her “small-d***ed, big-nosed boss,” Triple H, on videos posted to Paige’s snapchat. Ah, young codependency. But sadly, that’s all over now.

Paige will return to WWE now, and hopefully WWE Total Divas, which last saw her suspended for violating the company’s Wellness Policy during an ongoing storyline on the reality show in which everyone thought her dating the older, scummier Del Rio was a bad idea. How wrong they were! Still, selfishly, we must admit it will be nice to have Paige back on television again.

(Last Updated November 10, 2017 2:06 pm )

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A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

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