Winnie the Pooh: happy-go-lucky bear, overindulging honey glutton, and… dangerous traitor?!
Scandal rocked the Hundred Acre Woods today as prominent citizen Winnie the Pooh was accused of promoting sedition by the Chinese government, according to a report from sandwich-themed Hollywood gossip blog The Wrap. In the wake of internet memes posted on Chinese social media sites like WeChat comparing Chinese President Xi Jinping with the lovable children’s character, China has reportedly censored all mentions and images to Pooh behind its famed Great Firewall.
— Josh Chin 李肇华 (@joshchin) November 10, 2014
In addition to removal of dangerous political imagery featuring Pooh, all search results for the bear have been stripped from the internet in China. It’s unknown whether known Pooh associates Eeyore, Piglet, Rabbit, Owl, Kanga, Roo, or Christopher Robin are also considered threatening anti-authority symbols, but one source inside Pooh’s inner circle who wishes to remain anonymous believes that Pooh may actually be guilty as charged.
“Hoo-hoo-hoo-hooo!” said the source, who has gone to great lengths to conceal his identity. “If there’s one thing Poohs love more than eating hunny, it’s overthrowing the government!”
The source refused to reveal more, citing an urgent bouncing appointment that he needed to get to right away.
At press time, government agents were in the process of setting up a honeypot sting in an attempt to lure Pooh into custody.
We’ll keep you updated on this breaking story.
- Gail Simone Teases Crosswind Season 2, Coming in 2018 - January 15, 2018
- Sycho Sid Denies Blowing off Wrestling for Softball Whenever He Felt Like It - January 15, 2018
- Silver Sprocket Announces 12 Titles for Spring and Summer from Carolyn Nowack, Tom Neely, Ben Passmore, Rachel Dukes, and More - January 15, 2018
- Goldberg to be Inducted to WWE Hall of Fame, Presumably for Wrestling, not Pooping - January 15, 2018
- Warwick Davis Calls Out Twitter for Abuse Policy; Twitter Actually Listens - January 15, 2018