What Bleeding Cool Said Pirates Of The Caribbean 5 Would Be About… In 2013

Posted by May 15, 2017 Comment

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No TalesIn 2013, Brendon Connelly wrote the following for Bleeding Cool, regarding Pirates Of The Caribbean 5 – Dead Men Tell No Tales or Salazar’s Revenge, depending on your location.

I’m going to score it off.

First of all, there’s going to be a new female lead, a sparring partner for Jack Sparrow. She’s nothing like him, mind you – despite being suspected of witchcraft, she’s actually a woman of science. Expect some sexual chemistry, but also expect it to be a touch one sided…


There’s more to her character, but the best stuff is very spoilery.


As for witches, they’re central to whole conceit. There are some other, actual witches involved. If Tia Dalma, from the second and third films, makes another appearance, it’s a minor one but it’ll be very easy to leave her out. These new witches have somewhat less of a hoodoo flavouring.


Keeping up the supernatural flavour, there’s also going to be a ghost in a leading role. It’s this character, a former member of the British military now sided with Barbossa on a revenge mission, that gives the film its title.


And just in case you miss the other half of the equation, the dripping wet Orlando Bloom or Keira Knightley roles, they’ll this time go to a couple of pretty young Brits from farming families. They’re pure subplot fodder, however, and if anything gets the chop it will be these two.

PARTIALLY YES – one of the two is now the scientist above. The other is a certain son. And no, not subplot anymore. But “farmboy” does get thrown around as a term of abuse.

I can tell you that the film starts with a rather awkward wedding and climaxes with a riff on the myth of the Bermuda Triangle.

NO. There is an awkward wedding scene in the middle of the movie. And the Bermuda Triangle parallel is earlier, and throughout. No climax upon the myth.

All in all, it seems to be just the sort of thing you’d expect from a Pirates movie. In short, it’s going to make Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer an absolute mint.


Pretty good, Brendon of four years ago…


(Last Updated May 15, 2017 9:32 am )