by Ray Flook
PREVIOUSLY ON “GEEK-spiracy!”… I love conspiracy theories. The crazier, the better. Granted, my gut instincts (and dos cucharadas of common sense) remind me that around 98.7% of all conspiracy theories are nothing more than raging piles of shit…but that doesn’t mean they can’t be fun, right? First man on the moon? Shot on a soundstage! Fluoride in our drinking water? Mind control device! Paul McCartney? Died in 1966 and was replaced by a clone/replicant/host! Because the one unifying truth that bonds all conspiracy theories together is this: all you need to ride this train is a healthy dose of “blind faith,” my friends. Facts and truth? Fuck ‘em! Because when in doubt, you have the ultimate mic-dropping go-to answer every time: “Yeah…but that’s what they want you to think…” See what I mean? You never lose and you’ll never be wrong.
And nowhere do conspiracy theories frolic more freely than in the geek community; so in “honor” of this proud tradition of crazed wish-fulfillment and disinformation, our next installment of…GEEK-spiracy!
GEEK-spiracy 2! Breaking Bad’s Walter White/Heisenberg (Bryan Cranston) wasn’t killed by the accidentally self-inflicted gunshot wound he suffered at the end of “Felina,” smiling as he laid on the floor of Todd’s lab while law enforcement stormed the facility. White/Heisenberg was taken into protective custody, where he was able to legally finish what he had started: eliminating all “pretenders” to his Blue Sky throne and putting his “monster” in the ground on his own terms. But damn does witness protection get boring after awhile…
Think I’m up-to-my-eyeballs full of meth? Then consider these three things…
* In May 2014, Cranston had the following exchange with CNN’s Ashleigh Banfield:
Banfield: Spoiler alert for all of you who are going to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix — shut your ears right now. I’m going to ask you, really, seriously, I wasn’t so sure that you died, I really wasn’t. Your eyes were open and I thought, ‘What if the police just take him into custody, he gets better, breaks out and just goes nuts?'”
Cranston: Hey, you never saw bags zip up or anything.
Banfield: Is he dead?
Cranston: I don’t know.
Banfield: No movie? No nothing? No Walter White ever again?
Cranston: Never say never.
* Cranston revealed to Paste Magazine in October 2016 that he visited the set of Better Call Saul to meet-up with Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan and the crew; and that while he’s come to terms with letting-go of the character, “I told Vince [Gilligan], if you want me to be on the show, I’ll be there in a second.” It was announced earlier this month that Cranston would direct an episode for the third season, fueling the rumor mill. But would it have to only be for a flashback? Saul has been using flash-forwards sparingly to give us a glimpse of Saul/Jimmy post-Breaking Bad…but is there more going-on here than we realize? In an interview with Entertainment Weekly in February 2015, Bob Odenkirk (Saul/Jimmy) was asked about the impact the flash-forwards would have moving forward…in particular the scene where Saul/Jimmy retrieves the videocassette from the shoebox he had hidden…and his response only fuels further speculation: “Everything in that little shoebox is significant.”
* In what was a truly shocking and unexpected move that may put an end to this debate once-and-for-all, President-elect Donald Trump’s campaign manager Kellyanne Conway announced on Saturday that White would be appointed head of the Drug Enforcement Agency beginning in 2017. When reached for comment regarding his return to public life in a very controversial role and whether he could trust President Trump, White responded, “Oh, absolutely. Donald Trump and I agree. It’s time to make America cook again. We want to fill this nation with red, white, and a whole lot of blue.”
So grab some alone-time inside a dark room in your house (best way to keep the black helicopters from tracking your every move) and praise me for being the “pop culture prophet” that I am (or throw stones at my blasphemy) by commenting below and getting the conversation rolling. Just make sure you really know who it is you’re dealing with here because…
“If that’s true — if you don’t know who I am — then maybe your best course is to tread lightly.”
Ray Flook has been a contributing writer to Bleeding Cool since 2013 and “Ray-splaining” geek stuff his entire life.. You can follow him on Twitter at @oldmangeek88; on Instagram at @oldmangeek; and soon through the Big Bad Geek podcast.