We’ve been covering officially unofficial, or unofficially official computer animated Cerebus movie in the works, created through investors, volunteers, projected time of many years to make, with Cerebus creator Dave Sim participating, fully in the knowledge that he could pull the plug at any point.
And Brad Pitt being courted not just to play Cerebus. Not just to play Elrod. But to play all the male parts – which, knowing Cerebus, is a good chunk of the parts going, based on his screen performance in Benjamin Button, Which has led Dave Sim to attemot to schmooze Brad Pitt with an image based on the one below that got the Italian distributors in a whole host of trouble when they promoted 12 Years A Slave thusly.
Surreal doesn’t begin to describe that elevator pitch. As Hunter S. Thompson said, “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro”. You have to really be completely up-front about it. In Hollywood 3D animation means kids movie. Period. You can’t take the SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS poster and put the CEREBUS cast in it and then make EAT PRAY LOVE meets MY DINNER WITH ANDRE and expect to come out of your Friday opening in one piece. You have to tackle it head-on. Which is why I did the poster speciality drawing that I did (which, hopefully, Sean has posted or will post around here somewhere). It’s basically a parody of the “CONTROVERSIAL” Italian poster for 12 YEARS A SLAVE which I only knew about because the NATIONAL POST did an article on it. Controversial because the poster had a big picture of Brad Pitt, a white guy, and a little picture of Chiwetel Ejiofor, the movie’s titular slave. Which, when I read it, my reaction was a) Oh, come ON! and b) Well, there goes Brad Pitt’s O*c*r that he deserved for BENJAMIN BUTTON. And then later c) Oh, hey, he WON? OKAY! Maybe we’re not as crazy as a society as I think we are most of the time.
Whoever The Actor turns out to be (and I’ve got three other names here, two white actors and one black actor who will remain NAMELESS having learned me a hard lesson) he gets a big portrait at the top of the poster right under his name and there’s the little CEREBUS graphic at the bottom (and no, I don’t think it’s racist to put Cerebus in place of Chiwetel Ejiofor: remember, the aardvark is an African mammal. YO!)
I’m on the third day of working on the poster and I go, “Wait a minute. The whole point of the framing sequence is that Cerebus is trying to intimidate ‘Foy’. He’s in full-bore Monster mode. And she isn’t intimidated. WHERE are you going to find a voice actress who ISN’T going to sound intimidated playing opposite Brad Pitt BEING intimidating?”About thirty seconds later. DUH. Angelina Jolie. My mind is a playground. What if she did all of the FEMALE voices? Brad Pitt as Cerebus and Angelina Jolie as the Regency Elf. Brad Pitt as Lord Julius and Angelina Jolie as Astoria. Brad Pitt as Cerebus and Angelina Jolie as Red Sophia AND Mrs. Henrot-Gutch in the same scene. I’d pay to see that…and I’m pretty sure Oliver can get me on the guest list. I mean, seriously. Cross referencing their picks. Any scene that’s on both lists near the top is in!I wish I’d thought of Angelina Jolie before I started the poster. If she wants one of her own, I’ll be glad to do one