39 Thoughts About 39 Comics – Axis, Harley Quinn, Spider-Woman, Bobs Burgers, Age Of Darkness, Crossed, Zero, Transformers, Peanuts, Magnus, Lumberjanes, Batwoman, Regular Show, Batman Eternal, Batman/Superman, Justice League, Invincible, Winter World, Maxx, Hellraiser, Godzilla, Feary, Dawn/Vampirella, Last Fall, Terminal Hero, My Little Pony, Super Secret Crisis War, Sleepy Hollow, Storyteller: Witches, Star Slammers, Sons Of Anarchy, Solar, Rot & Ruin, Deadly Class, Dicks, God Is Dead, D&D, Bravest Warriors

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Panel of the week there, I think, from Axis #6.

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If anyone wants to suggest what part of Harley Quinn‘s body is named “Brooklyn”, we’d be most grateful.Image (32)

Bounce… the twins… finding some clothes… is this some kind of “dog whistle” choice of language to satisfy both potential audiences for Spider-Woman? And with Silk and Spider-Gwen joining in, shouldn’t this be Spider-Women anyway?

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There’s nothing quite like suggesting vampirism than getting Buffy artist George Jeanty to draw your comic, such as today’s Batwoman. Oh, and lesbians, of course. Can’t have vampire without lesbians, for some reason.Image (24)

I asked this of Scott Snyder at the weekend. Why stay in Gotham? Batman Eternal continues to make the case that, seriously, it might be fine for Batman but everyone else (including Alfred) should get the hell out.

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Shooting Superman’s family to get to him in Batman/Superman, I get that. But did you have to include the dog?

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Justice League #36 shows us a Justice League laid low by a viral attack. As is also currently happening to them in Batman. Do we have warring plotlines with DC Comics right now? Could no one say no to either Scott or Geoff?

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Invincible shows us the damage that can be done by, basically, any large object. Is a sword or a hammer really needed here? Surely a wardrobe or a small Ford Cortina would do the same thing in such circumstances?

Winter World #4

Winter World #4 shows the threat to sanity caused by pooping in the sea.

The Maxx #13

The Maxx #13 gives us the usual, everyday tropes that every abductee trots out, immediately before they get probed.

The Last Fall #3

The Last Fall #3 teaches us that if your surname is Fall, you really should change it, otherwise you are just tempting fate.

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Calling your sister a “jerk” is one thing. But calling your son “Sky” is far worse, in Terminal Hero #4. And as for not believing in ghosts…

My Little Pony #25

What about ghost chillies? My Little Pony #25 introduces a new colour palette for the ponies to prance around in

Super Secret Crisis War! 6

What do you think? Seriousuly, if more superhero type characters surrendered straight away, we’d have much shorter comic books. From Super Secret Crisis War #6.

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Also with Sleepy Hollow #2, shorter monologues means shorter stories! Get with the programme! But where do these stories come from?

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Storyteller: Witches #3 there, though I’m not sure if the dog would capture all the finer point of Joyce’s Ulysses.

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Crossed: Badlands has its Terminator 2 moment. Not quite “come with me if you want to live” but t’s the best you’ll get these days…

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Zero bemoans the current state of law and order… I mean, it’s set in London in eleven years time, but still. t’s always about now.

Star Slammers #8

That’s what happens if you try and grab a sound effect under your arm, in Star Slammers #8.

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Sons of Anarchy #15 shows us that their are keen collectors in all walks of life. Say, I wonder if you can get those slabbed by CGC?

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Notice that even before our new friend can speak English, he can still say the words “Translation Matrix”. That’s some serious skills in Solar #7.

Rot & Ruin #3

You know it’s incentive schemes like this, from Rot & Ruin #3, that are making the modern workplace a much more competitive place to be.

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Whereas Deadly Class #9 makes it a little more religious…

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And God Is Dead #24 hammers it home. As it were.

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And then Dicks #6 calls on… daddy? As Garth Ennis looks to recreate the deity once gain, in the form of Popeye…

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Well, you know Regular Show #17, it’s not like trees have discernable private parts of their own. Especially when all their leaves fall off.

Primacy #4

Imagine if they all just said “actually we’ve taken a vote and aren’t happy with your management style. I think we should all go on a conference to brainstorm ideas. We think it might be… transformative.” No? Okay, then, Transformers: Primacy #4, as you were.

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Looks like four idiots to me, Snoopy, from Peanuts #23.

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But what does it make the bullets out of? Bullets fired at it? Shell casings? Itself? Eventually, Magnus #8, there will be nothing left…

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Lumberjanes #8 finds a way to feed the world.

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Not to many though. I mean, has a Pinhead ever been on the top of a Christmass tree? I’ve just googled it without joy, Hellraiser: Bestiary #4…

Godzilla Cataclysm #4

Godzilla Cataclysm #4 gives us a monster doing a fabulous Sid James impression. Seriously, I hear it like this.

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Sorry, I can’t understand you, you have to pronounce your words properly. Enunciate. Move your lips. Oh, I see, you don’t have lips. Okay, well, scrawl something in the dirt. Oh, your fingers are withered and snapped back? It’s just not your day is it? Cheerio, and thanks to Feary #2

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You can tell this is serious. Vampirella is wearing pants. Although with all those shields an padding, maybe someone might think about covering their midriff… Dawn/Vampirella #2

D & D Legends of Baldur's Gate #2

D&D: Legends of Baldur’s Gate #2 emphasis the importance of personal grooming when engaging on any kind of dangerous quest. Throw six for a pleasant aroma of lavender…

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I will totally be reading Bravest Warriors: Paralyzed Horse Giant to my kids tonight. It’s uplifting.

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Bob’s Burgers #4 teaches you how to pronounced “filleted” through the use of rhyme. But yes, serving up a Chupacabra Royale would go down as well as the aforementioned kittens…

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At which point Sabrina The Teenage Witch popped by – some rather lax security there from Age Of Darkness: Hitched #4

 

Comics courtesy of Orbital Comics, London. With a Jason Aaron/Jason Latour/Ivan Brandon/Tom Muller signing today, with a Directors Commentary performance of Southern Bastards #1.

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About Rich Johnston

Chief writer and founder of Bleeding Cool. Father of two. Comic book clairvoyant. Political cartoonist.