Exclusive: More Plot Details For The Expendabelles, Robert Luketic To Direct

*not the actual cast
*not the actual cast

It started off so promising and now… Deadline reports The Expendabelles, the all-female actioner answer to The Expendables, has found a director in Robert Luketic. Which is fine, but it also announced the plot synopsis, and… it ain’t good.

When America’s Navy SEALs are wiped out trying to penetrate the island lair of a deadly despot who has captured one of the world’s top nuclear scientists, it becomes clear that there is no such thing as the right man for the job and that this is a mission so impossible that only women can handle it. The only way in: some of the world’s deadliest female operatives must pose as high-class call-girls shipped in by private plane to satisfy a dictator–and instead save the scientist and the day.

High-class call girls? Ugh. But let’s move on. Brendon has passed along more details about some of the individual characters, as well as how this film exists in the same universe as the Expendables. In case you missed his previous story with even more scoop, it’s only a click away.

And now, even more.

So, the leader of the group of women is Teagan. She’s a Brit – or her prototype is, when producers were courting Kate Beckinsale for the role. She’s recruited to put together the team by Barney Ross, Sylvester Stallone’s Expendables character. And it gets multi-generational as Teagan’s mom also gets to play action her. Sigourney Weaver had been at the top of that wishlist.

Other members of the team include a CIA operative turned soccer mom in the vein of Jennifer Garner, as well as a mall cop, an Asian gymnastics instructor, a Hooter’s hostess, a Latina “bikini cage fighter” and another older woman described as more typically action-hero type.

….and they’re all going to have to pretend to be high class call girls in order to get in on the action. Hard pass.

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