Joe Michael Straczynski has posted on Facebook his response to the reportage of Thursday night’s Team Spirit panel at Fan Expo Toronto. And the words of a certain Marko Djurdjevic. However tempered by Jonathan Hickman.
Several folks have emailed to ask what I thought of Marko Djurdjevic’s reported breakdown or tirade (depending on who’s doing the asking) in which he savaged Marvel and said in passing that I “write like toilet paper.”
I was at first concerned by this because I was pretty sure toilet that while one can write ON toilet paper, toilet paper itself doesn’t actually write because it can’t hold a pen, dictate or use a keyboard. Then I thought, maybe I missed something. I could be wrong. So I contacted the TPADL (Toilet Paper Anti-Defamation League) to get their response, which follows.
“We at the TPADL are tired of these sorts of baseless and discriminatory comments. We cannot and do not write, it is an ignorant and foolish comment. We are often written upon, but that is not the same thing and we should not be held responsible for that content. We had this same problem with the collected works of Jacqueline Susan and Harold Robbins. We didn’t do it, we were simply the messengers for their shit. What Mr. Djurdjevic clearly meant to say, and would’ve said if he were sober, is that Straczynski writes like shit, a sentiment that all sentient life forms would agree with.”
I thanked them for this clarification and for me the matter ends there, except to wish Mr. Djurdjevic the best. I think it’s about time somebody in the comics business gave Charlie Sheen a run for his money, and I have absolute faith that Mr. Djurdjevic is just the man to do it. I stand beside him in solidarity, with confidence and with a roll of toilet paper poised and ready for his next missive. Go get ’em, Marko!
JMS also let us know that he has handed in the final pages for Superman: Earth One Vol 2. On digital toilet paper, obviously.