New Scarlet Pimpernel Film To Borrow Style Of Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes

Joe Sommers is here to quote Tenacious D and chew gum, and he’s fresh out of gum.

You would almost think that the movie industry might have learned its lesson on dumping huge scads of cash into remaking properties that no one has visited or revisited since Jack Black penned the lyrics for Beelzeboss from 2006’s Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny :

I can’t wait to take Kage back to hell
I’m gonna fill him with my hot demon gel
I’ll make him squeal like my Scarlet Pimpernel

You don’t get many opportunities in life to quote the D, friends. Revel when you can.

The Hollywood Reporter tells us that a $120 million dollar reprisal of the Baroness Emmuska Orczy’s The Scarlet Pimpernel plans to shoot in 2011 courtesy of Dominick Fairbanks and his new production company Fairbanks Productions. Michael Armstrong will take on creative development of the project while James Black is set to executive produce.

Says Black:

We want to try and do to the story of The Scarlet Pimpernel what Guy Ritchie did to Sherlock Holmes.

Good luck with that.

Neil Jackson, whose villainous turn was one of the better things to happen to The Quantum of Solace, is set to star in what this comic book guy can only think of as a sort of period-piece cape and masked crusader tale. Admittedly, the period is the late-eighteenth century and our hero has an affinity for little red flowers. (Then again, so did V in V for Vendetta and that didn’t turn out… too… badly.)

The literary critic in me should be squealing with delight; however, the filmgoer in me keeps thinking about all those Three Musketeers remakes and hopes that Jack Black might make a delightful cameo singing a drug-inspired little ditty about a sasquatch he suspects to be his father.