Rumourous Growths: Everything You Wanted To Know About The Fantastic Four Reboot – UPDATE

There’s a surfeit of Fantastic Four hearsay to be passed along. Are we ready to play the childhood game of Telephone?

According to Comic Book Movie, there’s news on casting for Dr. Doom and The Thing’s gravelly tones (see what I did there?), and some talk of just who it is Fox might want to actually direct the thing.

Stephen Moyer is Mr. Anna Paquin, her True Blood co-star and one of those British actors in America who stun people by reverting to their native accents, or something like it, when appearing on chat shows. Could he be the new Dr. Doom?

The proposed casting for Benjamin Grim, the man who got his rocks on to become The Thing, requires much less imagination. Indeed, to me his selection seems like something of a no-brainer: Bruce Willis. It’s one of those Jack-Nicholson-is-The-Joker style snug fits.

Even if cast, Willis won’t be having to slap on the prosthetic pebbledash of a morning since the new Thing is going to be an all-CG creation. Can’t wait to see him go ice skating on a frozen New York lake.

UPDATE: Meanwhile, Screenrant see Kiefer Sutherland in the runing too. As much as a man made of rocks can run.

The hit list of directors is a wee bit underwhelming: Harry Potter‘s David Yates, The A-Team‘s Joe Carnahan, and Ninja Assassin‘s James McTeigue. I would have said hugely underwhelming, but that seems like a contradiction in terms.

The reported plan is to shoot in 3D in the spring and release in Summer 2012. That would seem somehow fitting if the eventual DVD is issued on the day of the Mayan apocalypse.

Here’s hoping the eventual film is everything we want it to be, if that’s not impossible.