World Of Whorecraft – This Has To Be Read To Be Believed – Updated

Posted by July 9, 2009 Comment

Gumtree is the UK equivalent of Craigslist. Lots of listings for houseshares, bicycles, tickets, jobs… oh and random sexual encounters of the filthy variety. I have to say I’ve been known to browse through a few to be entertained by the most degrading requests.

But this one beats them all.

Posted today in the London Sex / Casual Relationships – Girls Seeking Guys with the title World of Warcraft Sex by an unknown 24 year old female… she writes;

Do you like PvP in the World of Warcraft? Do you want to have sex with a girl playing arena in the sixteen-hundreds bracket? Do you want to have sex with me WHILE I play arena? If so continue reading…..

I think we are all about to continue reading, aren’t we? Good. For those not aware, World Of Warcraft is a massive multi-player game played online by over eleven million people. Most of whom are not having sex while they’re playing it. Anyway…

I will be playing as my druid.. she is in full Season 3 and some Season 4. I play with another female player on her warrior, but she is not going to physically join us.. she will be on vent or Skype listening in, but mostly her purpose will be to keep the game going smoothly by letting me know what is happening so I don?t have to pay much attention.

Strangely, everyone reading this is paying a LOT of attention.

You must be ok with vaginal and anal penetration, as well as eating me out, and you must be able to finish on me twice within one hour.

We’re on a clock here? And “on” you? Will you have time to wipe yourself off in between or are we meant to be building up layers here?

But more importantly, you must be familiar with the game. You should be not only yelling things like, ?Your pussy feels so good on my dick? but also pay some attention to my arena game(s). And be loud. Remember, I?ll have my headset on to talk to my partner. ?Root him!?, ?Cyclone so I can pull out and fuck your ass? and so on. You must be kinky, naughty, and very horny. I will be quizzing you, so if you are not sure about your stuff, please do not respond.

Suddenly I am not very sure about my stuff at all.

What you have to do/have in order for me to consider you:

You mean apart from be a complete mentallist?

– You must have at least one level 70 in equivalent gear, maybe we can chat about it.

– You cannot be overweight, but also not the muscle jock body type with a brain the size of a pea. Chubby is BEST!

– You must be able to spell.

– You must be at least 20 years old and no older than 29.

– At least 5’10;.

– No blondies.

– Dark hair, dark eyes

– Prefer uncut, but you must be clean. Circumsised will be considered, but not preferred.

People say I look 29… does that count?

About me:

– I am 5’8

– 150lbs

– Blue eyes and brown hair.

– I know a lot about video games.

– I want to fuck you while I play arena if you fulfill the above requirements. – I am very tight.. I have not had sex in about 8 months.

Why am I not surprised? Well, odds are you’re about to have sex fairly soon. Although that “no overweight” aspect may be limiting, thankfully you didn’t require anyone bring any dignity along with them, because I think that’s about to be in very short supply indeed.

“On” you? Really?

UPDATE: Sadly it was indeed too good to be believed- it seems to have been a repost of a classic CraigsList post. Interested to see what responses it gets though…
(Last Updated July 9, 2009 5:18 pm )