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Thread: Hold the Phones, It's Alex Jones

  1. #1
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    Default Hold the Phones, It's Alex Jones

    Andy Luke writes for Bleeding Cool:

    The surreal episode between Alex Jones and Piers Morgan that aired over gun rights and useage, saw the shock news sensationalist deliver a barrage of facts and psuedo-statistics. Piers Morgan got a few questions out in response. He asked Alex about the weapons used in the Sandy Hook School massacre and received an answer, following details about the fluoride in the water and the Gulf of Tonkin. The killings at the Aurora cinema screening? Alex told all about the weapons, not so much about the lives of those affected, and quickly moved on to talking the statistics of deaths by great white sharks, Morgan's bodyguards, and that I'm not his slave and I can nerve gas him all day and that's right he's coming for me. With serpent powers and my sacrificing of goats, I'm an NWO hellspawn. Scum.

    Or something like that.

    Over the last few weeks Bleeding Cool has run two pieces on the conspiracy theories arriving outside the Sandy Hook and Aurora massacres.

    It's a sad fact that Morgan and Jones both indulge a breed of parasite reporting that is so creative it invents the news.

    Conspiracy theorists provide an important function in de-constructing "accepted" accounts to allow us to get closer to the truth. Just as a good journalist will give us a story that affects us, and suggest access to respond to those. Anyone who knows Jones' pre-2006 work will know he's capable of good journalism, but his oft-spouted "Building 7", "Military industrialist complex" "honey bees are killing us" catchphrases doesn't cut it when he's off on the subject of guns.

    I wonder if the criminals want to take his guns because he's criminalised them?

    I'm shamelessly using this surge in Alex Jones traffic to give you another option outside the phoney Jones-Morgan paradigm. Last year, I put out Hold The Phones, It's Alex Jones! It's a sit-com-spiracy, making use of Alex's inane brand of comedy and soundbites minus the agony of wading through the incomprehensible. Digitally, the book has done well with over 10,000 free extended previews, but not a single PDF sale as there's been a global conspiracy or I messed up the purchase tech. So now that I've covered that up, you can make a new world order for this 44 page comic for 98c.



    See Alex travel in time through American history, face vaccination and innoculation, resist the attempts of big media to hypnotise his kids and join him. See him advertise water filters and gold seeds, fight enemies foreign and domestic: including Alex?s wife, their son Constitution, daughter Wrench, the family dog 1776, and Orwell the cat.

    Hold The Phones features work by Geoffrey Wessel, Bisson, Sean Duffield and Benjamin Stone, as well as myself and co-creator, Professor Octagon.

    You can read previews or buy a copy at my website.

    Andy Luke is a writer who draws.

  2. #2
    Exceedingly Cool fishpillow123's Avatar
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    So what kind of cut do you get Rich?
    adarkerimage.com-Cool news and honest reviews about Movies, Anime, Games and more!

  3. #3
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    Hey! I was Alex's producer for about a year when he was on a commercial station in Austin in 1998/99. I used to read issues of the Invisibles, Transmet, and Hellboy in between rants. Can I get an article too?

  4. #4
    Exceedingly Cool fishpillow123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patrickjoseph View Post
    Hey! I was Alex's producer for about a year when he was on a commercial station in Austin in 1998/99. I used to read issues of the Invisibles, Transmet, and Hellboy in between rants. Can I get an article too?
    Only if you draw worse than a second grader!
    adarkerimage.com-Cool news and honest reviews about Movies, Anime, Games and more!

  5. #5
    Exceedingly Cool
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    Quote Originally Posted by fishpillow123 View Post
    Only if you draw worse than a second grader!
    Unfortunately no. The chemtrails and fluoride have given me super-drawing powers. Foiled again!

  6. #6
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    'Oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'
    Visit http://dangermart.blogspot.com/ for comic reviews

  7. #7
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    What the hell is this? Seriously. I'm at a loss about this "article" and the related "comic." I know some people like to give Rich a hard time over content, but this is just confusing to me. April Fools Day is three months away.

  8. #8
    Bleeding Cool Maybeland's Avatar
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    WTF?

    Shamalamadingdong

  9. #9
    Bleeding Cool Matt Krotzer's Avatar
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    Man, I wish my friends would shill for me like Rich apparently does for his. Of course, I'm only trying to raise money so my wife and I can adopt a child, not turn children's drawings into profit. (A kid DID draw these, right?)

    Rich... be my friend?

  10. #10
    Consultant of Cool Xofer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybeland View Post
    Shamalamadingdong
    I liked "Sixth Sense" and "Unbreakable" but since then it's all been downhill for me.
    Friends come in all sizes. That's a fact, it's true!

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