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Thread: Phoenix Jones Is Recruiting - But Clark Kent Or Peter Parker Need Not Apply

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    Default Phoenix Jones Is Recruiting - But Clark Kent Or Peter Parker Need Not Apply

    Phoenix Jones is the most famous proponent of the Real Life Superhero movement, due to the fact that he actually beats up bad guys on the streets of Seattle. And gets shot, stabbed and arrested in the process.

    And now he wants to know if you'd like to do the same.

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeCjm6d8M5A[/youtube]
    WANT TO BE A PART OF THE RAIN CITY SUPERHERO MOVEMENT !!! ?*HERE IS HOW

    requirements:

    YOU MUST BE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OF AGE

    steady form of income

    a form or Washington state issued idan out of state driver license must be accompanied with proof of residence in Washington state and must be switch over by the end of your "rookie" phase

    no felony crimes or violent crimes (if you have a crime pending you will not be excepted till the case is closed or resolved)

    military, police, or provable martial arts experience( i will test you on this be accurate with your training level)

    first aid, CPR cards are required ( we have a person that provides this at a discount and follows strict confidentiality agreements.

    you must have a bulletproof vest level 2A or better (this will be provided for your first couple of patrols. you must own one within a month of being excepted.( we have a company that provides these at a extreme discount)

    you must not be a journalist or a person going to school for journalism.
    Sory Peter Parker and Clark Kent, you're shit out of luck.
    YOU MUST BE WILLING TO SUBMIT A FORM FOR BACKGROUND CHECK AS WELL AS SIGN A CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT.

    (IF YOU ARE MISSING A BULLETPROOF VEST,CPR CARD,FIRST AID CARD,AND HAVE TO SWITCH YOUR ID OVER THE START UP COST SHOULD BE 135.50. YOU WILL BE GIVEN DIRECT INFORMATION ON HOW TO ACQUIRE AND CONTACT THESE COMPANIES NO MONEY WILL BE PASSED THROUGH THE TEAM.)

  2. #2
    Bleeding Cool toodoor's Avatar
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    Presumably people with a basic grasp of English will not be "excepted" either.
    Still, he could always get a job writing for BC...
    Warning, the above post may contain traces of sarcasm, or have been written in an environment where it may have come into contact with sarcasm.

    My name is Steven Tudor, nice to meet you.

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    Exceedingly Cool rassmguy's Avatar
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    Default Apparently, writing skills...

    ...are optional for the job.

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    Exceedingly Cool goldmooncadet's Avatar
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    Fuck Yes to this. I love this real life shit.

    To the two comments above me: What the hell is wrong with you little boys? YOU. ARE. NOT. FUNNY.

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    Bleeding Cool toodoor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goldmooncadet View Post
    Fuck Yes to this. I love this real life shit.

    To the two comments above me: What the hell is wrong with you little boys? YOU. ARE. NOT. FUNNY.
    Yeah, cos God forbid we think that maybe it's a bad idea for illiterate fuckwits to be wandering the streets putting themselves and other people in danger.
    Warning, the above post may contain traces of sarcasm, or have been written in an environment where it may have come into contact with sarcasm.

    My name is Steven Tudor, nice to meet you.

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    Way Cool SoundMonkey44's Avatar
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    I just have one question, how long before we start getting real life Super Villains, I wanna apply for a position with the next version of the Sinster Six XD.
    "I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.
    ― Dr. Seuss

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    Bleeding Cool StarCruncher's Avatar
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    Sidekicks either get maimed, killed or turn into arch enemies, so there better be a kickass benefit package.

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    Exceedingly Cool goldmooncadet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toodoor View Post
    Yeah, cos God forbid we think that maybe it's a bad idea for illiterate fuckwits to be wandering the streets putting themselves and other people in danger.
    You are a careless jerk. A fuckwit, if you will. But you won't. Cause you got it all figured out. Dontcha?

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    Bleeding Cool toodoor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goldmooncadet View Post
    You are a careless jerk. A fuckwit, if you will. But you won't. Cause you got it all figured out. Dontcha?
    I won't what?

    Hmmmm are you Phoenix Jones?????
    Warning, the above post may contain traces of sarcasm, or have been written in an environment where it may have come into contact with sarcasm.

    My name is Steven Tudor, nice to meet you.

  10. #10
    Bleeding Cool Matt Krotzer's Avatar
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    Ideally, he'd also exclude anyone who is married or has children. It's one thing to be irresponsible with your life when you don't have people who rely on you. It's pants-on-head retarded to do this if you do.

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