Is the internet bringing out your dark side?

[Peter J Poole]

Do you send emails and texts without thinking? Or impulsively splurge online? A new book says technology is changing our personalities - for the worse

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...es--worse.html

Cheers

[Mad_Man_Moon]

A colleague, Beth, received a message from someone she did not know telling her ‘the world had enough of her inane Facebook updates’. In response, Beth says: ‘I felt physically sick when I saw it. It was so hateful and unexpected. Maybe my updates weren’t that interesting, but is that a good enough reason to be so horrible?

I'd be fucking pleased to bloody know.

it's not necessarily true (but may be), but I definitely see more of the (very) typical nyc trait of self importance.
I think this it's a good example of that ...


reading the rest now, and will quote the whole article, too

[Peter J Poole]

I'd be fucking pleased to bloody know.

it's not necessarily true (but may be), but I definitely see more of the (very) typical nyc trait of self importance.
I think this it's a good example of that ...


reading the rest now, and will quote the whole article, too

I see that and think a) typical Mail slanting and b) get a bloody grip woman. How much weight should we give to what some faceless nameless stranger says?

And yet we do. Which is partly what the book seems to be looking at.

Cheers

[Mad_Man_Moon]

I see that and think a) typical Mail slanting and b) get a bloody grip woman. How much weight should we give to what some faceless nameless stranger says?

And yet we do. Which is partly what the book seems to be looking at.

Cheers

Yeah, you're right we do.
And the general premise IS true, we do need to be more polite online (it's something that I do *TRY* to do, but it's difficult with some people).

There is, obviously, a self-involvedness on both sides, too. The offended (it's just a faceless douche, get over it) and the offender (I have knee jerked this, but now I will not change my stance). This breeds aggression, and can be seen to be the modern equivalent of the stupid drunk "you starin' at my wife?" fights. As really, there's nothing there, there's no reason for the aggression, and it's mostly for nothing ... but subtleties get lost when you don't have full expression - you're drunk/are using text and aren't Stephen Fry - and we find ourselves in the ongoing battle of self versus self online.

It's kind of a nasty thing to look at from a higher perspective.

I had selfish cunt-flap friend issues of my own last night, so I didn't come back here to comment and post, but I'll grab that article now and quote it for the sake of lazier people than I (or simply those that don't want to give the mail web hits ;-) )


We shouldn't forget BC's *own* run in with a (was it?) Daily Mail reporter who got his panties in a twist. There were some dick heads being far too extreme, which is fair comment, but he was also getting upset about some of the less horrid, and more (simply) critical stuff.

Is the internet bringing out your dark side?
Do you send emails and texts without thinking? Or impulsively splurge online? A new book says technology is changing our personalities - for the worse

By Marianne Power
Last updated at 11:27 AM on 27th June 2011


Back in the good old days, celebrities used to get drunk at awards ceremonies, hurl insults and occasionally punches at each other. But these days the internet is the virtual bar where they brawl.

Just recently, columnist Julie Burchill accused Lily Allen of being an ‘over-privileged cry-baby’. The pop star retaliated on Twitter by accusing Julie of being ‘an ignorant and bitter old troll’.

Piers Morgan and Rio Ferdinand traded blows for four hours on Twitter while Wayne Rooney responded to a Liverpool fan’s insults by tweeting: ‘I’ll put you to sleep in ten seconds.’

Online spite: As they can be anonymous, many people say things in chat rooms and in emails that they would never say in real life

But it’s not just celebrities who are using social networking sites for public slanging matches. Cuckolded plumber Ian Puddick was cleared of harassment after he used the internet to circulate graphic details of his wife’s affair.

This might be an extreme example, but it seems online spite is a growing trend.

My friend Sarah was horrified at being described in a chatroom as ‘facially hideous’, ‘ugly’ and ‘chunky’ after her photo was used in an online article.

A colleague, Beth, received a message from someone she did not know telling her ‘the world had enough of her inane Facebook updates’. In response, Beth says: ‘I felt physically sick when I saw it. It was so hateful and unexpected. Maybe my updates weren’t that interesting, but is that a good enough reason to be so horrible?

‘The fact someone went to the effort of creating an anonymous email account to send the message made it more sinister. I cried for the weekend.’

So why is the internet bringing out the worst in us? Elias Aboujaoude, a doctor at Stanford University’s school of medicine in the U.S., believes it is transforming our personalities. He warns many of us are developing ‘e-personalities’ that are like the worst, drunken versions of ourselves.

‘Our e-personalities are an uninhibited version of who we are, a collection of personality traits that make us more child-like, impulsive, darker and narcissistic,’ he says.

‘It comes alive in our emails, tweets, texts and choice of Facebook friends. We binge-shop on Amazon and eBay because it’s so easy, routinely lie about ourselves on Facebook and get into nasty fights in chatrooms.

‘We are anonymous, so it’s so easy to think that what we say has no consequences. Online stalking of ex-partners is also becoming common. It feels rewarding, until you realise you’re probably being stalked, too.

‘This distorted version of who we are doesn’t just stay online; it seeps into our real lives, too.’

CYBER BULLYING

One of the more disturbing results of this mindset is online bullying.

‘We are quicker to bully each other in chatrooms or on Twitter, as there is this notion that what happens online is all a bit of a game — that it’s not real,’ says Dr Aboujaoude.

‘Cartoon graphics and childish language add to this illusion. We are often anonymous and always invisible, so we state things we would not say to people’s face. We lash out with no thought for the hurt we might cause. The speed of the internet means we act before taking time to engage our brains and consider the consequences. It’s too easy to fire off a rash email. When we are online, we bypass the part of the brain that would normally make us count to ten before reacting.’

But these incidents of lashing out aren’t just something that last moments or are confined to the internet.

Twitter wars: Lily Allen, left, traded online insults with Julie Burchill

‘Society is becoming more uncivil — people are ruder,’ adds Dr Aboujaoude. ‘We should ask ourselves if one reason for this is because of what we do online and how we act on our blogs and in chatrooms. How can manners be conveyed in a tweet?

‘Is this affecting the way we communicate with people in the real world?’

ACT NOW, THINK LATER
Another trait encouraged by the internet is impulsivity. This is why we fire off rude emails without thinking and spend hundreds of pounds on clothes we don’t need.
‘These are impulsive gestures and we live to regret them,’ says Dr Aboujaoude.

‘Online shopping, gambling and infidelity are the most common examples of impulsivity online.

‘These impulses have always been there, they’re just much easier to access now.

‘Virtual money makes it easier to be financially reckless, while dating sites make it easy for anyone — especially people in urban areas — to have casual relationships.’

ONLINE EGOMANIA

The idea that everything is at our fingertips is fuelling delusions of grandeur. ‘Anything we want, from a recipe to a partner, can be found at the press of a button,’ says Dr Aboujaoude.

The notion we can accomplish anything spills into our opinion of ourselves, which is why we get frustrated when things don’t happen instantly or go our way.

‘I’ve seen people who throw away real relationships because they are living under the illusion that love is easier to find — you just log on to a dating site and have thousands of options.

‘Why work on what you have now when you can get something new?’

IT’S ALL ABOUT ME

The narcissism brought on by the internet — the feeling that the world revolves around you — can make us less inclined to make real relationships work.

‘The feeling that the world is our audience is intoxicating. We have 300 friends on Facebook and 2,000 people following our tweets, which makes us feel the world can’t wait to hear what we say,’ says Dr Aboujaoude.

‘And then there’s the i-centric nature of the internet. From iTunes to the iPhone, the digital world is geared for you. More than ever, technology aims to satisfy our every need.

Think before you click: Spending too much time on websites like Facebook could be altering your personality

‘Not only can you choose an online news source, you can specify which type of story you want on the front page and which ones you want filtered out. As we get accustomed to having even our most minor needs accommodated to this degree, we are growing more needy and feel more entitled.’

BACK TO THE PLAYGROUND

While part of being mature should mean restraining our worst instincts, Dr Aboujaoude believes the internet is stopping us from doing that because it makes us more childish.


‘We use e-language, which is a childlike version of adult language. Look at your emails and compare their grammar and vocabulary with the language you were taught to use at school.

‘Look at emoticons — the smiley or sad faces people use at the ends of texts or tweets — they show we’ve become more childlike. This regression is trickling into everyday life.

‘It’s why it’s acceptable for adults to play computer games for hours instead of following more mature pursuits.’

THINK BEFORE YOU CLICK

If you think that this affects only people who are on their phone and laptop day and night, think again.

‘You don’t have to be a twenty-something online all the time,’ says Dr Aboujaoude. ‘We are all behaving differently — both offline and online — because of the internet.
‘We spend about seven to eight hours a day on a computer on average and during that time we talk in a certain kind of way and follow certain principles.

‘But while we may think we are different when we’re offline, we are not as good as compartmentalising as we believe.

‘Right now, all around us is the clamour of the latest Apple or Google breakthrough, demanding more of our time, wallet and consciousness. All I am doing is raising a red flag that we need to think about this rush of changes and look at the bigger picture.

‘There is no turning back, but we have to recognise that this social experiment has consequences.

‘We have to acknowledge that we actually act differently online and see that this is affecting our real lives, too.’

So the next time you’re about to buy something you don’t need online, post a less-than-charitable comment on Facebook or fire off an email with poor grammar and no polite greeting, take a moment to consider this: what you do and the self you create online could be changing the person you really are for ever.

Think before you click.

[JensAltmann]

You don't need the internet to see that the world is indeed getting increasingly rude. Just remember back to the last time you went to see a movie at the cinema.

How many people were using their cellphones throughout? Or otherwise behaving in a matter that was detrimental to everyone else's enjoyment of the movie?

Now, take this with the proverbial grain of salt, because I'm a total and complete misanthrope. But generally, if people have the chance to act like assholes without any personal consequences, they will be assholes. They seem more rude online because it's easier to get away with everything, so of course they're more committed to being assholes.

[Mad_Man_Moon]

You don't need the internet to see that the world is indeed getting increasingly rude. Just remember back to the last time you went to see a movie at the cinema.

How many people were using their cellphones throughout? Or otherwise behaving in a matter that was detrimental to everyone else's enjoyment of the movie?

Now, take this with the proverbial grain of salt, because I'm a total and complete misanthrope. But generally, if people have the chance to act like assholes without any personal consequences, they will be assholes. They seem more rude online because it's easier to get away with everything, so of course they're more committed to being assholes.

amen, brother

[Peter J Poole]

Yeah, you're right we do.
And the general premise IS true, we do need to be more polite online (it's something that I do *TRY* to do, but it's difficult with some people).

It's the main reason I post here with my real name. If I'm putting my opinions out there, I should get some 'skin in the game' for them...

With no judgement intended on anyone who prefers not to,

Cheers

[Mad_Man_Moon]

It's the main reason I post here with my real name. If I'm putting my opinions out there, I should get some 'skin in the game' for them...

With no judgement intended on anyone who prefers not to,

Cheers

EDIT - I know you're not directing it at me, specifically, but it's a good point to lead in to my general conversation.

I have opinions, and do opine, but I try to do so without being an absolute cunt.
That said, I will be a cunt occasionally, but when I am, it's intentional, and I'll state (or infer something to allude to) this.

I only "hide behind" an alias, because I don't want literal records of my name everywhere. I'm still young ... ish (32 or 33, can't remember) ... and I still have jobs to apply for. The less I can leave to the imagination of prospective employers the better.

It's a whole thing, y'know?


But I'm happy to be up front about things, I just try to be nice.
In essence, a lot of the shit I got taught in church as a kid. Whether or not I agree with it as a religion, etc, that crazy man who (may/may not have existed, but if he did was definitely fruit loops) done teach some good done things for our way of life. So I guess props to jesus for that ... but he can go fist himself if he thinks I'm believing in a man in the sky.


Anyway, yes, people are worse, particularly on-line. It's something that does have to stop, but it's difficult to arrest the trend. I feel it would be far better to adapt and educate to a new way. Hopefully a beautiful flower will bloom from this horrible weed.

[Rootfireember]

People do tend to be asses online, because -as mentioned- they don't have consequences to fear. It's 'not real' to them, as it were. It's just a game.
For the most part, I'd guess people like that (Bullies&/or trolls) lack the mental capacity to understand that there are other people behind the screen. Or they just don't care, because it doesn't matter to them.

As to why I don't use my RL name often on the internet? a) I don't like it, and eventually plan to change it and b) like what MMM said. Jobs & whatnot.

BC & Whitechapel have been some of the better places online, but as it's been said they aren't the rest of the internet.

[Peter J Poole]

Heh.. it's a wonderful double bind.. use an alias because you're doing stuff you wouldn't want an employer to know about, but because you're using an alias you know you're doing stuff that you wouldn't want an employer to know about...

I guess it just comes down to what each person is comfortable with. And there's nothing wrong with that!

Cheers