Fifty-Five Thoughts About Fifty-Five Comics – Locke & Key Alpha, Daredevil, New Guardians, Harley Quinn, Adventure Time, Young Avengers, Hit, X-Men, Sex, Saga, Pretty Deadly, Revival, Mind The Gap, Midas Flesh, Cobra Files, East Of West, Black Science, Batman & Two-Face, Extinction Parade, Vibe, Rogues Rebellion, Wonder Woman, Samurai Jack, Itty Bitty Hellboy, Star Trek, BRPD, Bloodhound, My Little Pony, Conan, Supergirl, Pandora, Ultimate X-Men, Avengers Assemble, Indestructible Hulk, Secret Avengers, Captain America, Superior Spider-Man, Kiss Kids, Ghostbusters, Ben 10, Robotech/Voltron, Kiss Me Satan, A Voice In The Dark, Witchblade, Peanuts, Red Sonja, Bravest Warriors, Imagine Agents, Hawken Melee, Bounce, Transformers, TMNT, Popeye And Illegitimates

L & K Alpha #2

Not so fast, Locke & Key: Alpha #2, we’ve only just started our run through the day’s comic books. Just no one ask exactly what is being… wiped away, here.

And yes, it’s the final issue of this wonderful series. Watch it go out with a bang.

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Thanks for that Uncanny Avengers, giving us a real inside look into Captain America’s… insides.

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As Superior Spider-Man slips into something a bit more comfortable. You know, Bleeding Cool’s Hannah is driving across the country (she apologises for a lack of Live From The Comic Shop) and I’ve had a couple of texts so far from her. Though I’m sure she stopped off safely at a lay by first, okay, Superior Spider-Man?

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Mark Waid‘s Daredevil has a small history of panels that could be taken one way or another if taken out of context. Like we do. Like we’ve just done. Daredevil seemingly watching his girlfriend engage in bestiality there.

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Green Lantern: New Guardians isn’t much better either… if you are into pushing Exurans through their holes, that is. I wouldn’t have the words either.

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You know, the old Harley Quinn might have taken her head from her shoulders. This Harley Quinn has other means.

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Even Adventure Time have folk behaving a little too handsy for my liking.

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Young Avengers shows us another way of dealing with such unwanted affection.

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Hit #4 has its own ideas as well. Hey, it’s called “Hit” for a reason.

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Though someone is happier to give us the case for the defence, in X-Men.

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And surprisingly, today’s issue of Sex is more violent than sexual. Though there is sex in it as well, obviously, no infringement of the Trades Descrioption Act here.

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And it’s not just dart snorting dogs. There’s even more sex in the new Saga, and one of the climactic scenes may well be one of those comics that causes Apple to go all funny.

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Pretty Deadly gives us a Wild West equivalent of the toddler holding their breath until you do what they want.

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I’m sure once upon a time, I had a nickname like that. Thanks, Revival.

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And this, from Mind The Gap, was exactly how I felt last night when my internet broke. I may have also thrown things, though in my case, not at walls covered in forensic information.

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Technical problems in the launch issue of Midas Flesh as well. And a solution as to how dinosaurs could pick things up…

 

Cobra Files #9

Cobra Files #9 goes for the jaw-jaw over war-war… but can the two ever co-exist? What if one side wants to talk and the other just fight?

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East Of West takes our current relations with our politicians and.,.. well, I was going to say “exaggerates it” but frankly with the latest expense scandals over here in the UK, if anything, this is playing it down, rather.

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Oh yes, and I was wrong about Black Science. It’s not Lost In Space. It’s Sliders. Multi-dimensional time hops, a different time spent in each reality, and danger all around. And time for Europe to be colonised by America…

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Batman & Two-Face puts Harvey Dent over the fold, the kind of experience you just can’t replicate digitally. Not without snapping your iPad.

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Though Extinction Parade does a pretty good job as well.

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As Justice League Of America’s Vibe is coming to an end, Amanda Waller, I don’t think any of us will be.

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From Rogues Rebellion, is this what retailers said when they got all their Villain’s Month 3D cover second prints?

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You know, if more Greek restaurants served their food this way, they might be even more popular. Thanks for the culinary suggestion, Wonder Woman. But it could do with a little something…

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There you go, Clive Barker’s Next Testament, always very thoughtful and considerate. Well it helps liven up the food of the gods.

Samurai Jack #3

Samurai Jack understand as all sacred duties, Hercules, but he also likes a little nibble. Any other suggestions?

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Itty Bitty Hellboy‘s Hot Sauce! Seriously, how would that not sell? Any chance of a bottle or two for San Diego, Dark Horse? Anyone got anything with a bit more bite?

Star Trek #28

Thank you Star Trek! Just put it in the curry will you?

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BPRD gives us lots of rotting flesh. But who has a flamethrower when you need one?

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Maybe they should recruit the folks from Bloodhound, they seems to like everything a little on the well done side.

MLP #14

No, but I want to start. Super fast pony, super fast pony, super fast pony, super fast pony, super fast pony, super fast pony, super fast pony… hey, it’s catchy.

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Okay I’m fed up of saying that now. After reading Conan, can I now say “gorillas with wings” repeatedly instead?

Gorillas with wings, gorillas with wings, gorillas with wings, gorillas with wings, gorillas with wings, gorillas with wings, gorillas with wings, gorillas with wings…

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Lobo gets one-punched in Supergirl.

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In that case, Nightmare Nurse, Swamp Thing can call you Betty. Give it a few pages and  Pandora will have diamonds on the soles of her shoe.

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Is it me or does this scene from Cataclysm: Ultimate X-Men #3 look a little like it was drawn by your mate Dave in the back of Geography class in his sketch book?

IMG_0022 Courtesy of Avengers Assemble. All agents of A.I.M. should be called Larry. It would just make things simpler all round. But where could I get clobber like that?

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Indestructible Hulk is on hand with an entrepreneurial soul solving my dilemma. But sorry, Frank, Bobby, you’ll have to change your names as well. And those of your family.

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There’s a law that goes, never ask a question if you’re not prepared for the answer. And Taskmasker’s question to… Larry, I guess, is possibly one he doesn’t really want answering…

Kiss Kids #4

If this is the All New Marvel Now relaunch of Thor, I’m just going home right now. Kiss Kids shows us how comics is always better than sport.

Ghostbusters #11

Thanks Ghostbusters #11 for accurately replicating the nightmares from last night that I had almost but not quite forgotten. Cheers for that.

Hey, Ben 10 #2, how do you know? Have you asked the mermaid? Maybe she’s suffering from a wasting scale disease. It’s such a shoddy assumption.

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Robotech/Voltron #1 launches and to be frank I’m quite happy with that plot development. Never really liked either. Naturally your mileage may vary.

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Maybe, Kiss Me Satan #4, stop shooting at that coin and try somewhere else. His eye, maybe, his crotch or maybe a gut. Just stop shooting at the coin!

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Surrounded by gun violence? Put on a little Barry White, it changes the tempo of Voice In The Dark considerably.

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“Witchblade, you just can’t put it down.” Literally it seems in this case.

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Some basic war strategy errors in Peanuts there. Clerly there must be some war tribunal to punish him for his crimes. And what punishment would be fitting, against such a snow covered wasteland?

Red Sonja #6 (preview 12_18) There we go, Red Sonja #6. Not just burning children but burning the Peanuts children. That’s how I think it went down, anyway.

Lucy lasted the longest.

BravestWarriors_15_panel My daughters shopping styles there folks, from Bravest Warriors this week. Purchases decided by prettiness. Which is why she has lots of soft toys but no, say, power tools. And you know where that leads?

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Imagine Agents, where all the pretty things are coming to take their power back. Possibly wielding power tools.

And ultimately…

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People keep saying that guys aren’t toys. They’re wrong, guns aren’t just toys, just really really good ones, as Hawken Melee demonstrates.

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Bounce gets political. A bit. Although mostly sex, drugs and violence. Which is the way it should be.

TRANSFORMERS Regen 1 #97

While Transformers Regenerations rejects the lone gunman theory.

TMNT NAA #6

Is it bigger than an evil bread box though, TMNT?

TMNT #29

You can’t blame him, he clearly he had turtle head. Is that a common expression in America? If not, it should be. Quick trip to Urban Dictionary...

Robots in Disguise #24

That’s the problem in Transformers: Robots In Disguise with Shockwave, you never have a clue just what he’s thinking.

Popeye #17

No, Popeye, you’re published by IDW now. Come on, get it together. So that was a look through the week’s comics, ahead of next week with almost no comics! How are you feeling about that, Illegitimates #1?

Illegitimates #1

So cynical for such a newly published comic…. so, what did you read today?

Comics courtesy of Orbital Comics, London. Tomorrow, join Ellen Lindner and the fine folks of Soaring Penguin Press to celebrate the launch of her brand-new four-part murder mystery mini-series The Black Feather Falls.

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