Almost Three Minutes Of Bret Easton Ellis And Paul Schrader’s Lindsay Lohan Movie, The Canyons

The screenwriter of Taxi Driver and author of American Psycho have conspired to make something that seems all too like Tommy Wiseau’s The Room and we really don’t need another one of those.

Here’s a three minute scene that goes an awful long way without dialogue. I have to wonder if that’s why it was chosen.

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The New York Times ran an article this week on how the film crashed and banged its way to completion. Here are a just few of the high points from the earlier parts of this particular horror story:

Schrader goes over some ground rules; no trailers on set and one contractually obligated, four-way sex scene. Oh, another thing, Schrader adds: he will not try to sleep with her. This was probably a more relevant point in 1982, but no matter.

Ellis cranked out a first draft in six weeks. He had recently become fascinated with James Deen, a 26-year-old known as the Porn Star Next Door. Deen, whose real name is Bryan Matthew Sevilla, is the Jewish son of Pasadena rocket scientists­ — really. His 4,000 films have gained him a cult of female fans because he is well endowed and sensitive. But Ellis didn’t see Deen as harmless. He wrote the script with Deen in his head for the role of Christian, a classic Ellis sociopathic trust-funder, convinced there “was a devil behind the Jewish boy-next-door cute guy.”

A few days later, filming started at 3 a.m. at the plush bar attached to the Chateau Marmont, which Pope had scored free. It wasn’t an easy first day. The scene was the opening six minutes of the movie, and there was too much exposition and not enough action. But Pope had another concern.

“Her makeup looks like it’s from a different movie.”

It was true; Lohan’s visage had a Kabuki quality to it. She had chosen to wear layers of mascara and catlike eye makeup with black lines pointing out toward her ears. Before the shoot, Pope showed Lohan Polaroids of her looking beautiful with minimal makeup.

“Look, our interest is in making you look great,” Pope told her. “You look beautiful with just a little makeup.”

But Lohan was trying to put her pixieish Disney days behind her and thought the Courtney Love approach made her look hip.

And so on.

I’m definitely curious to see The Canyons. Somehow soon the film is going to trickle out, somewhere, though I do expect to see it going straight to download, possibly not even through an established distributor…