White House Officially Rejects Petition Calling For A Death Star

You may recall that an internet petition was calling for the Obama administration to “secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.”

I assume it was somehow inspired by the Reagan administration’s so-called Star Wars strategic defence initiative, a nightmare of my youth.

A massive, planet-destroying non-moon didn’t seem like O’s style to me, and indeed it isn’t. The White House have officially rejected the popular proposal in a statement (via The LA Times) that they’re calling – ho ho! – This Isn’t The Petition You’re Looking For.

Here are the key problems, as pointed out by the Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget:

The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.

The Administration does not support blowing up planets.

Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

Three very good points. Then again, I was easy to convince – I didn’t want a Death Star in the first place.

How about a nice big cake instead? Cake for every one! You can make a really big cake that orbits in space, even, as long as there are regular trips up there for me to get a bit.